Archive for the ‘Wife Lessons’ Category
Monday, November 10th, 2008
Lesson 27: Buttshot Buckshot Backfire
For some reason I have always loved shooting people with things. When I was 14 I shot a “wasp” at our teacher (wadded up paper flung through the air with a rubber band). When I was 15 I bought a slingshot and shot my brother out ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 4 Comments »
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
Lesson 26: Pumped Full of Guilt
Some people give money to others without being asked. Others give money only when compelled--perhaps by a robber. I think I normally fall into the latter category. I don't naturally walk around thinking about things I can do to make other people's lives better. ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
Lesson 25: Cooked!
When my wife and I first got married I would frequently try to get her to make me food. I’m not sure if I was indoctrinated by the various musicals I watched as a kid that showed women cooking for men (namely Seven Brides For Seven Brothers), but ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 12 Comments »
Monday, June 30th, 2008
Lesson 24: Mama Mia!
My wife and I always laugh when our kids point out that we look like someone on the street. For me, my kids usually point to a scrawny Hispanic male whose hair is shaved short; and for my wife, my kids usually point to a female ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
Lesson 23: Witnessing the Miracle
Some people think the birthing of a child is the most beautiful experience one can have. In fact, I remember seeing a movie in high school entitled The Miracle of Birth. Despite the buzz around a birth, I have never been excited to be there for ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
Lesson 22: Cold Reception for Cold Cereal
It's that time of year again where men everywhere cringe because they have no idea how to celebrate Mother's Day or what kinds of niceties would acknowledge the work mothers do. Roses? Candy? Cleaning the house? A nice letter? When we first got married ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 7 Comments »
Thursday, April 17th, 2008
Pat Down
This lesson does not require a lot of explanation, but I thought I would provide a brief update. We are currently on our vacation in NJ, NY, and DC. Last night we went to a Mets game, today it’s the Yankees, and tomorrow we go to the Orioles. It ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
Stubble Trouble
My wife is always trying to kiss me at the most inopportune times: while I am trying to sleep, when I am leaving the house to go to work, and anytime I am generally awake. Normally I allow this to continue for a minute or so and then ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 5 Comments »
Monday, March 3rd, 2008
Lesson 19: Thanks is Not Enough
Cashier: How are you today?
Shopper: I like flying animals.
Cashier: What?
In every culture there are standard greetings and standard responses. In the example above, the shopper would normally respond "Fine" or "Good"--or "Well" if she likes sounding snooty. The cashier would expect one of these typical ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
Lesson 18: Forbidden Fruit
I love playing party games (Catch Phrase, Scattergories, Mafia, etc). Several years ago, before I was married, I was playing a game with a group of friends. I was "it" and the game went like this:
I secretly selected someone from the ...
Posted in Wife Lessons | 7 Comments »
