This month is Game On Month.  The Donkey provides tips on how husbands can squeeze in a little extra video-game time.

From my experience with gamers, I have noticed that they are always trying to sneak off for a quick game or an update on what is going on with their clan even if they only have a 15 minute window. Undoubtedly they get busted by their wives because the wives have an advantage: the element of surprise. Today’s method negates this advantage and allows for additional game playing time. Tell your wife that you have a headache or that you want to read a book. Begin to head to your gaming area, but grab a few essentials along the way: string and some Christmas bells. Tie the bells to the string and place them on the floor heading to your room. You’ve now created a simple alarm to alert you of a potential raid. The string and bells method is on the extreme side; normal household objects would work much better: baby rattles, silverware, plastic cups, or corn flakes.

“Conference Call”

Several husbands have asked me how to get their wives to let them play more video games. Although I don’t play video games much, I’ve caved into the pressure and reached into the vaults of pure genius to find answers for you. My first idea works for those of you who can work from home. This method is effective even after work hours, in fact, it might work better.

Explain to your wife that work is really crazy and that you have to be on a long conference call to resolve a particularly difficult situation. “I was really hoping to bathe the kids and put them to bed, but unfortunately I won’t be able to tonight. In fact, I’ll need the entire room to myself for this call,” you tell her. I recommend using your bedroom or office because taking over the family or living room won’t last long. Once the family is shooed to another room, bust out the game system and go to town.

You may be asking yourself, “What if my wife comes in and doesn’t hear me on the phone?” Simple. Put your phone on speaker phone and dial pretty much any 1-800 number. A soothing voice will come on and begin to ask you to select options from various lists. You don’t really need to pick anything because the questions will be asked over and over again. You might also try the local weather phone service if you have one in your area or the local traffic update line. They both go on forever and repeat after a while. Enjoy your gaming you fanatics of fantasy!