Knocked Up

The final tip in this series is a bit risky, takes careful planning, and involves some dirty work: get your wife pregnant! Is it really worth it to add an extra branch to the family tree just to get out of an in-law vacation? Maybe. If you have to fly to your next in-law vacation, plan to get your wife pregnant roughly 8 months before the trip. If successful, your wife will be advised by her doctor not to fly, and the trip can be avoided because she certainly won’t want to make the drive while she is pregnant.

But don’t make my recent mistake. I miscalculated by a month or two and now have to attend the vacation while my wife is pregnant. It couldn’t be worse. Instead of hiding in my room watching sports, I will be forced to watch our 3 children while my wife relaxes to alleviate the “side effects” of pregnancy. Additionally, I will have to cover her shift as cook and cleaner for one of the dinner meals. Talk about a plan gone wrong!

All Work and No Play

Another great idea to get out of in-law vacations is work. Sometimes you are just too busy to go anywhere. This works much better for short day-vacations or weekend ones, but it can also work for a week-long vacation. Fist, figure out when the planned event will be. Second, find a project at work that is moderate in size, but not too big that it will kill you. Third, talk about the project a lot to your wife and exaggerate how crazy things are. Fourth, just before you buy plane tickets, sigh in frustration that the project deadline and the vacation are at the same time. “How can I go anywhere,” you exclaim to your wife. “You know this project has been killing me for months.”

That might work; if not, you probably brought some doubt in your wife’s mind and can buy yourself another week or two. Hopefully this can bridge the gap to the previous tip of delaying the ticket purchase until the fares are too high for you to afford. NOTE: if you have a Blackberry or some type of media card, this tip will be hard to use since your wife knows you can connect remotely.  In a worst-case scenario, if you still end up on the trip, at least you will have plenty of work to keep you busy and off the hook for family activities.

Fare Wars

It’s that time of year again: families are beginning to talk seriously about summer vacations. Yesterday my brother-in-law sent an email out to the entire family to solicit details on the upcoming reunion my wife’s family is planning. The wheels began turning and I thought, “How am I going to get out of this trip this year?” Luckily, there are several great options I can share with you this month so you can be ready to avoid a disaster.

One technique that has proved quite effective is delaying the purchase of the plane tickets. Here’s how it works: Your wife is going to be really excited once she receives the email from her brother and want to purchase tickets immediately. Don’t panic; use a cool head and explain to her that you should wait for some really great prices. As the weeks and months pass, don’t bring up the tickets. If your wife mentions them, try to hold off for that great deal that is just around the corner. At some point, hopefully just a few weeks before the trip, your wife will panic. Do a quick search for the tickets and let out a horrible gasp as you see the outrageous price. If the prices are good, you might be stuck. You could scroll through the pages to find some expensive tickets and then have your wife look. “How can we afford these?” you ask. With a little guilt and an explanation of the family budget, you just might be able to avoid the trip. (NOTE: Waiting until less than 2 weeks before the trip will greatly increase the likelihood of success since discount tickets are rarely available on short notice.)