I guess I have learned my lesson.  I will never let The Donkey write my side of a debate again!

Apparently, quite a few people think it’s ok to share medicine between spouses.  I won’t be flushing old pills down the toilet anymore (what’s the safest way to get rid of them?), but admittedly I will probably continue to be “selfish” with my prescription meds.

Sorry, Donkey… you’re still on your own.  And no, I won’t call the doctor to set up your appointment either; you’re a big boy now.

Current Great Debate Standings:

The Donkey: 6

West is Best?

Down on The Farm

Pain in The Hoof

Babysitting Blues

Up in Arms

Pill Popped

The Wife:8

R is For Rudy

I Want to Get Away

A Gaseous Explosion from The Inner Crevasse

Just What I Always Wanted

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Dining Out Dillemma

Name Game

Knot For Boys

Draw: 1

Should The Wife Get a Cell Phone?

Wow, our last Great Debate we had quite a while ago, and we never posted the results. Unfortunately I took another beating. I never thought so many people would support my son in becoming a knitter. I bought him Legos for his birthday, but I may purchase a knitting kit and some My Little Ponies for Christmas based on the results of the vote. I guess people think it is ok for him to get in touch with his feminine side. I have been struggling to make sense of this logic, but I have identified some positive things about having a son who knits:

• He can always stay inside with grandma and keep her company while the other kids are outside doing uncool stuff like playing football, running around, and chasing girls
• If his friends ever tear their pants at school, he can swoop right in and mend them
• Instead of purchasing a truck, video game, or baseball cards for his friends’ birthday parties, he can make them some cute mittens or booties and probably be the talk of the event
• While other kids are wasting time on sports, he and his mom will be up-to-date on all the latest gossip shows and soaps while they knit family blankets together
• Parents no longer need to worry about hearing rap or rock blasting in the house. Instead they will enjoy the pleasantries of Kenny G, Wham, Elton John, and on really crazy days, a little Air Supply

I believe that these are just a few of the many factors that helped you decide which way to vote. Congratulations to The Wife on another well deserved victory.

Current Great Debate Standings:

The Donkey: 5

West is Best?

Down on The Farm

Pain in The Hoof

Babysitting Blues

Up in Arms

The Wife:8

R is For Rudy

I Want to Get Away

A Gaseous Explosion from The Inner Crevasse

Just What I Always Wanted

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Dining Out Dillemma

Name Game

Knot For Boys

Draw: 1

Should The Wife Get a Cell Phone?

We finally set up our Twitter feed (see our announcement below)– and just in time too. Today we find out if we are having a boy or girl. I will twitter the event during the ultrasound. This is a big deal since all of the grandchildren on my side are boys (currently 9 in a row). We have 3 of them, but luck might run out today, and I could be the first to disgrace the family. Tune in today at 10 am.

I guess I was already disgraced this week by the results of the poll. I thought I proposed such a great way to decide the names for our kids, but look what happened. Barring some miracle, my wife will get to choose the baby’s name. I just don’t think I can get used to Shane, Rusty, or Butch. The good news is that I may have talked her into letting the readers decide the name, so keep your fingers crossed.

Back to twittering. We plan on twittering several events, namely the delivery of this next baby. This will help those husbands who have never experienced the grossness of a delivery. Someone has been spreading that it is a magnificent event, but I am here to tell you that it is nasty! More to come in late October/early November…

I will also try to twitter on other occasions:

• While I am getting yelled at by my wife
• While I am doing household chores for my wife
• While I spy on my wife at the gym
• While my wife is eating
• While I respond to difficult questions posed by my wife
• While my wife plucks whiskers

Anyway, I’m sure twittering will cause me marital pain at times, but it’s for the good of the blog and will get some more marriage advice out there.

Current Great Debate Standings:

The Donkey: 5

West is Best?

Down on The Farm

Pain in The Hoof

Babysitting Blues

Up in Arms

The Wife: 7

R is For Rudy

I Want to Get Away

A Gaseous Explosion from The Inner Crevasse

Just What I Always Wanted

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Dining Out Dillemma

Name Game

Draw: 1

Should The Wife Get a Cell Phone?

The votes have been tallied in the Arm Shaving Debate:

Well, sad but true–I don’t get to force The Donkey to keep the hair on his arms.  I know I can’t force him to do anything, but I would hope that he would just honor my preferences.  I must admit I’ve learned a lesson here; typically when The Donkey pesters me about shaving my legs I pay little attention to him, and just recite my little speech about how long it takes to shave my legs and how much of a hurry I’m always in to get out of the shower so as to minimize the damage that the kids are doing to the house in the meantime.  I suppose that if I expect some courtesy on the arm-shaving issue I should be a little more courteous when it comes to my prickly legs.

Current Great Debate Standings:

The Donkey: 5

West is Best?

Down on The Farm

Pain in The Hoof

Babysitting Blues

Up in Arms

The Wife: 6

R is For Rudy

I Want to Get Away

A Gaseous Explosion from The Inner Crevasse

Just What I Always Wanted

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Dining Out Dillemma

Draw: 1

Should The Wife Get a Cell Phone?

 

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The results are in for our Great Allowance Debate

It’s once again clear to me that my supporters did not show up for this debate. I did get feedback that the wording of the question and choices made it virtually impossible to not vote for my wife. Her clever wording has proven effective many times. Perhaps I will write the question and answers next time. I still maintain that I need more money than my wife and kids combined. Increase their money; I have no problem with that, but if their amount goes up then mine better too! I miss 8-9 meals at home each week because of work and school, but I guess you guys think I can live on sandwiches and apples. Maybe I’ll try sandwiches for a week and report back…

Current Great Debate Standings:

The Donkey: 4

West is Best?

Down on The Farm

Pain in The Hoof

Babysitting Blues

The Wife: 6

R is For Rudy

I Want to Get Away

A Gaseous Explosion from The Inner Crevasse

Just What I Always Wanted

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Dining Out Dillemma

Draw: 1

Should The Wife Get a Cell Phone?

 

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Quick Tips: Money Skimming

The Results are in for the Wedding Ring Debate

Looks like another tough loss. I didn’t really try to propose an argument because I thought a man could decide what he wears–I guess not. Typically we have to stand behind the decision the voters make, but I will petition this one to see if an exception can be made. I’ll post a picture of my new ring if my petition fails–that way we can show the picture to the search party next time the ring gets lost in some grass.

Great Debate Results

The Donkey: 4 (West; Farm; Toe; Babysitter)

The Wife: 5 (Rudy; Vacations; Gas; Gifts; Ring)

Draw: 1 (Treo)

I can’t believe she won this debate. Now I can’t count towels, dishes, or appliances as gifts because they are a need rather than a want. There are a few positives from this loss:
-I will no longer hear about not getting her clothes because I deem those as a need.
-She will need to go get me something new, since all I got this year was a set of pots and pans.

Great Debate Results

The Donkey: 4 (West; Farm; Toe; Babysitter)

The Wife: 4 (Rudy; Vacations; Gas; Gifts)

Draw: 1 (Treo)

The people have spoken: apparently no parent alive would be comfortable having a donkey call their daughter (which kind of makes you wonder what happened when my father was approached with a request for my hand in marriage). I suppose I will have to resign myself to being the coordinator of the child-care. I do appreciate The Donkey’s suggestion that I start using it as leverage.

Great Debate Totals

The Donkey: 4 (West; Farm; Toe; Babysitter)

The Wife: 3 (Rudy; Vacations; Gas)

Draw: 1 (Treo)

Psst… Donkey… the van is due for maintenance and the car needs an oil change. Make some calls and set that up, will ya? (By the way, you’ll have to take the kids along and try to control them in the service station waiting room, because I’m going to be busy scrubbing the floor under the high chair.)

This isn’t as surprising as my last loss , but I am still surprised I didn’t have more support. My wife’s “smoke cloud” of lies tainted the voters. I guarantee a win next time!

Great Debate Totals

The Donkey: 3 (West; Farm; Toe)

The Wife: 3 (Rudy; Vacations; Gas)

Draw: 1 (Treo)

I must admit that I am surprised by the outcome of this debate. I really thought I would win this argument, but I guess not.

Coincidentally, this week we will be taking our kids for an overnight stay at a hotel. The weird thing is that it really won’t be a vacation because I won’t be doing work or attending a conference.

Great Debate Totals

• The Donkey: 3 (West; Farm; Toe)
• The Wife: 2 (Rudy; Vacations)
• Draw: 1 (Treo)