Archive for the ‘From The Donkey’ Category

Prisoner’s Dilemma: A Marriage Scenario

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Leading the witness I'm not a prisoner and don't want to be even though marriage may feel like that for some people. Other people of course, not me. And this situation doesn't really fit the classic definition of a prisoner's dilemma. And I'm certainly not a witness. But I do feel ...

Bert: The Definition Of Creepy

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

What's in a name? I’ve received several messages from worried fans because we haven’t written for a while. Fear not. The Wife has been having explosive diarrhea and I've been cleaning the house. It's all a big joke until someone eats a bunch of bonbons. I think that will get me in ...

Mother’s Day – The Gift Every Mom Wants

Monday, May 10th, 2010

Mother's Day Wrap-Up As usual, I just cleaned the house and made a delicious dinner for my wife (Tandoori chicken). I gave her the standard coupons for a free back rub, foot massage, etc. The kids and I made a Mother's Day Family Feud game in PowerPoint. The first question was ...

Men Do Know Their Business Objectives

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Potty Talk Last week I challenged myself to sit down for every bathroom visit to better understand the female point of view. My wife has made outrageous claims over the years by stating that she never knows what is going to come out when she sits on the toilet. Read more ...

Squatting: Changing The Way You Do Business

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Porcelain Point of Contention Ever walk into a room and been completely surprised? Sure. Ever walk into the bathroom and been completely surprised? Of course. Every time I see the hair straightener on the counter still turned on after ten hours of not being used. Ever go to use the toilet ...

What To Do If Your Wife Might Hate Her Christmas Presents

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

Don't make junior cry Ever open a present and wonder what possessed the person who bought it to actually wrap and deliver it? I'm sure many of us husbands have been guilty of this in the past. Does the following sound familiar? It's last minute and you decide to grab something off ...

Can An IPod Be Used To Encourage Working Out?

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Dumbbell DisasterMany husbands are lamenting the fact that it's almost Christmas. Their wives' stress levels are hitting an annual high, kids are out of school and committing acts of terrorism in the house, and husbands have no idea what to get their wives. A friend of mine was asking the ...

Can You Go To Work For Me Today?

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Another advancement for mankind Once in a while the heavens are opened and one of life's secrets is placed into the trusting care of man. These secrets have provided untold advancement for our world. Examples permeate throughout time: Galileo, Newton, Alexander Fleming, and Einstein to name a few. I wish ...

Can You Tell If A Person Is Fat Over The Phone?

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

I can hear you breathing It's rare that I have the opportunity to accuse my wife of poor behavior. Normally I have to nitpick to find a mistake, but my chance finally came the other day. My wife spoke to someone on the phone and couldn't place who she was. ...

Underrated: The Annual Physical Examination

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

I am sitting waiting for an annual physical and a thought came to my mind: physicals are totally underrated. Where else can I find this kind of service for just a $15 copay? Sure, I could probably go to some seedy massage place, but that would cost at least $75. ...