Archive for the ‘Donkey Dialogue’ Category

Wife Requests Cheerleading from Husband and Children

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

No support like self support The Wife: Are you going to bring the kids when you come see me in my triathlon this weekend? Donkey: Oh.  Am I supposed to go to that? The Wife: Um.  Well, I thought you and the kids could come cheer.  Maybe you could bring signs to hold ...

Son Inherits Attitudes About Body Image from Father’s Treatment of Wife

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

Like Father, Like Son Scene: The Wife is at home with the kids.  Boy Wonder (7) is watching Cyberchase - the live action sketch at the end.  The sketch includes a very large pig. The Wife: Whoa, look at the size of that pig!  It's almost as big as the girl!  Have ...

Your Wife Might Not Actually Be Hiding The Remote

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

Remote Location Scene: The Donkey and Wife are conducting a family meeting with the kids when the television suddenly turns on. Donkey: Ok. Who has the remote? (annoyed at the 10th interruption) Wife: I don't think anyone has it. I think Tivo just came off of pause. Donkey: I think someone is sitting on ...

Breast Milk Color Doesn’t Identify What Your Wife Has Eaten

Sunday, December 14th, 2008

Milk and Cookies Scene: The Wife has just pumped milk into some bottles. The Donkey notices the bottles as he is cleaning the pump. Donkey: Why is your milk green? Wife: Breast milk always has a bluish tint. Donkey: What? I never heard of that. Anyway, this is green. Were you sneaking some ...

Don’t Tell Your Wife That Her Nose Will Stay Thin Even When She Doesn’t

Monday, September 29th, 2008

A Nose For Beauty Scene: The Donkey and The Wife are riding in the car, discussing the looks of someone they saw earlier that day. Wife: It's interesting how some people with heavier faces are so beautiful.  Any extra weight in my face just looks terrible. I just can't pull that off, ...

Use Caution When Fishing For Compliments From Your Husband

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Positive Reinforcement Wife: So, have I reached the point in this pregnancy where I start looking cute? Donkey: No. Wife: I suppose I should have known better than to ask that.

Asking Your Spouse to Do a Favor During Pregnancy

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Which is Worse?  Donkey: Sweet wife... will you pretty please do me a favor? Wife: What is it? Donkey: Caramel hot chocolate from the gas station on the corner?  Please? Wife: Oh c'mon... you were just out.  Why didn't you stop and get it then? Donkey: (Puppy dog eyes) Please, wife. Wife: Wait, I'm pregnant.  I ...

Don’t Tell Your Wife That She’s Bigger Than You, Even if It’s True

Monday, March 17th, 2008

The Scene: The Donkey and The Wife are standing in front of the bathroom mirror, getting ready to go out. Wife: (Silently wondering about whether she looks ok) Donkey: Whoa; Look how much bigger you are than me Wife: (exits the room briskly) Donkey: What?--I'm just stating a fact. You're taller than me! ...

Ascertain Your Wife’s Mood Before Asking Controversial Questions

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Dare I Ask? Donkey: On scale of 1-10, how controversial are you feeling right now? Wife: Um... what does that mean? Donkey: I need to ask you about something, but I might not want to bring it up right now if you're feeling confrontational. Wife: Well, I am feeling a bit stressed; I don't ...

You are Cordially Invited

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Excerpt from a recent "discussion" The Wife: Well, you're always going out to lunch and you never even think to come home for lunch or invite me to go out with you. The Donkey: I do like to have lunch with you. The Wife: It just seems like you have such a drive ...