Takenomics: How Beautiful Is Your Wife?

From The Donkey

Gauging your wife’s beauty on cinematic principles

When people find out that I have four boys, they usually something clever like, “Oh, don’t you want a girl?” My response is always the same: No Way! There are many reasons for this answer, but if you’ve seen the movie Taken, you can see why I can’t handle being responsible for a daughter. (You will note that this post is way out of date, but I have a huge backlog of things that should have been posted.)

After the movie, I wondered how I could relate with this since I don’t have a daughter. The closest thing I could come up with was my wife. What if we went to Europe? Would someone try to kidnap her because of her looks? Would she be gone in a minute? Would people go to take her then turn around once they got up close? I don’t know. But it got me thinking about a measurement tool based on this scenario.

The premise behind this tool is based on how long would your wife last before getting wifenapped in a foreign country. The graphic below will determine how beautiful your wife is. I haven’t determined the cost-benefit analysis of allowing your wife to be wifenapped to find out how beautiful she is, so please use this method with caution.

  1. 3 Responses to “Takenomics: How Beautiful Is Your Wife?”

  2. We take turns annoying each other and being patient. This week I was the one being annoyed.

    By Brent Piaskoski on Apr 10, 2012

  3. http://idoalready.tumblr.com/post/21437569789/life-stinks

    By Brent Piaskoski on Apr 20, 2012

  4. I am really offended by this…And when I stop laughing and catch my breath, I’m going to call my husband and yell at him for something. Anything.

    By Angela McCoy on Sep 5, 2012

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