WifeAdvice.com

Lesson 32: Planning to fail

In the corporate world executives strive to develop the next wave of successors to be ready for eventual promotion opportunities. Without a fresh pool of qualified talent, disaster can strike when an executive is suddenly removed from office because of death, fraud, illness, or other unanticipated reasons. Although the impact to a company can be devastating if a successor isn’t in the wing when an executive leaves, the results are certainly more disastrous when a successor for your wife is in the wing.

Lesson 32: Do not engage in any conversation that results in a succession plan for your wife, especially when that conversation is with your wife.

Several years ago my wife asked me what I would do if she died. “What kind of woman would you go for?” she asked. I thought about it for a while and innocently gave some answers. “Small, cute, smart, blonde, rich, spiritual.” She responded positively and then asked me to identify some people we know who might fit some of my descriptions.

I’m not sure why, but the alarms weren’t going off in my head. “Hmmm,” I thought. I then opened my mouth and that’s where the trouble started as I provided several names of people we have known who might be good replacements should tragedy strike. She began questioning me, “Why her? What’s so great about her?” And then, “Really? Do you find her attractive? Is there something I should know?”

Struggling, I tried to crawl up the carefully polished, aluminum slide that I was suddenly faced with. It was as if I had socks on my feet and hands – I was only going down. In fact, I was questioned for the next few weeks at random to explain myself and what made me name a certain person.

My suggestion: Never ever suggest that your wife could be replaced with a successor. What’s the point? It only throws doubt in her mind. Some might be tempted to rattle off some nasty ladies as successors thinking this is a good idea. Don’t do this either. Although your wife might feel safe as you mention grotesque people, she will wonder if she is in the same league as these beasts. That plan will backfire. Instead, when your wife asks this questions, tell her, “I pray for your safety every day and plan on loving you forever. No one could ever fill your shoes.” She’ll buy that because that’s what she wants to hear. Leave the succession planning to corporate experts.