WifeAdvice.com

The Donkey shares some of The Wife’s intimate journal memories and stories from her childhood experiences on a rural Michigan farm. Grammatical errors and farm-talk left in for effect.  (Read the original debate: Down on The Farm?)

July 4 – Independunce Day

I think the fourfth of July is one of my favorite holidays. First of all I love that we defeeted the Britush at the Elmo. I wonder if thats where that Sesume Street charakter got his name from. Second I love fireworx. We couldnt afford none but Pa created his own. He spent the gas money for the car and got Jiffy Pop and started roastin it. Then he took some dung balls from the field and lit them on fire and placed them on top of the Jiffy Pop. Eventally the Jiffy Pop exploded and the poop went shootin off into the night. We ran all around trying to avoid fallin poop. Pa howled somethin awful at the site. Ma laffed too. Sadly Ezekiel got a poop ball to the head and it burned him a little. I hope he comes over tomorrow still.

FifthI love watermelon. We couldnt git none this year since the saloon was all out so Ma shaved some ice and dripped some chicken blood and sugar into it. Then she put some beetles in there. Next she squished the ice into balls like watermelons. The ice tasted good but i didn’t like the beetles none. i spat them out at Liza-Jane. She got mad cause she hates beetles and therefore watermelons.

Anyways I love the fourfth. Plus today we put hay in Jethros overalls and he had a horrible itch all night.