Can You Tell If A Person Is Fat Over The Phone?

From The Donkey

I can hear you breathing

It’s rare that I have the opportunity to accuse my wife of poor behavior. Normally I have to nitpick to find a mistake, but my chance finally came the other day. My wife spoke to someone on the phone and couldn’t place who she was. I began to describe this woman. “She’s very tall and pretty big. Probably 250 pounds.” My wife responded in only a way I thought a man could. “Oh, she didn’t didn’t sound fat on the phone.”

My eyes lit up and the expression on my face indicated the delight I was instantly enjoying. My wife tried to backpedal, but the damage was done. I simply said, “I didn’t think one could conclude a person’s size by merely hearing a voice. I guess I have been mistaken all these years.” (Totally bogus. I can identify a girthy lady on the phone. There are plenty of clues.)

What do you think? Can you tell if someone is heavy just by hearing them speak on the phone?

  1. 7 Responses to “Can You Tell If A Person Is Fat Over The Phone?”

  2. Normally one cannot tell. However, if large Marge is peeling an orange, unwrapping a Twinkie, or performing some other arduous task, you will probably hear the strain in her voice as she attempts to multitask that with talking on the phone.

    By karlmalone on Sep 26, 2009

  3. Absolutely not…you can NOT tell if a person is fat over the phone…you may be under an illusion to think you can but voice alone does not describe someone…I know I used to be one of those “large” women and most people were surprised when they met me in person.

    By Lisa Olander on Sep 26, 2009

  4. I’m so ashamed…

    By The Wife on Sep 26, 2009

  5. this is preposterous you can’t tell over the phone, computer, etc. sssssssssssss sorry my finger flab got stuck on the s button, wow all this typing is leaving me winded going for a double whopper.

    By philly on Sep 27, 2009

  6. I too can tell interesting things about people just by talking to them on the phone. The other day I spoke to this guy on the phone and I was certain he had mustache!

    By Edgar on Sep 28, 2009

  7. there are MANY things you can tell about someone just by listening to their voice on the phone.eg.if you’re sharp you can tell their sex,sexual orientation,approximate age,if they’re sexually dominant or submissive (sexually dominant people come across as stronger,sexually submissive people come across as weaker,the general area of the world their from,if they’re psychologically regressed,the mood they’re in.a LOT of things.

    By christine j sojka on Jul 12, 2012

  8. Yes, I can tell. They all have that same thing in their voice that makes them sound like a fat person even when they’re trying not to. Even when they try to sound like a skinny secretary, I can still tell when they’re big. I think it’s because there is a type of attitude that goes with being big. I was big for one year of my whole life and I started to get that sound a little bit in my voice too. It kind of surprised me. Thankfully I’ve lost the weight and my voice doesn’t have that tone anymore. I agree though, you can tell if a person is fat over the phone.

    By Kari on Aug 26, 2012

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