I can hear you breathing
It’s rare that I have the opportunity to accuse my wife of poor behavior. Normally I have to nitpick to find a mistake, but my chance finally came the other day. My wife spoke to someone on the phone and couldn’t place who she was. I began to describe this woman. “She’s very tall and pretty big. Probably 250 pounds.” My wife responded in only a way I thought a man could. “Oh, she didn’t didn’t sound fat on the phone.”
My eyes lit up and the expression on my face indicated the delight I was instantly enjoying. My wife tried to backpedal, but the damage was done. I simply said, “I didn’t think one could conclude a person’s size by merely hearing a voice. I guess I have been mistaken all these years.” (Totally bogus. I can identify a girthy lady on the phone. There are plenty of clues.)
What do you think? Can you tell if someone is heavy just by hearing them speak on the phone?