Do Not Let Your Kids Call Mommy ‘Obese’ or ‘A Beast’
Lesson 29: Kids do say the darndest things, just don’t laugh at them
I’m not sure why I am shocked when a little kid says some crazy thing, but it gets me every time. I’ll never forget when our oldest son saw me step out of the shower several years ago (when he was very young). He blurted out, “Daddy, your [private part] has a mustache.” Although not as shocking, my kids’ quotes recently made me laugh again.
Lesson 29: Don’t laugh when your kids call your wife ‘obese’ or ‘a beast’.
We’ve had a Wii Fit for nearly 6 months now and have only recently opened the box. Our family was gathered around the device for the first time and each took our turn on the board to have an initial assessment done (weight, BMI, balance, etc.). Our kids got on and had their BMIs done and the Wii determined that they were underweight – no surprise there. I then got on and it told me I was average. My wife got on and it told her that she was overweight. The kids seemed so excited to see the meter near the top.
Our oldest said, “Wow mommy, you are almost at the obese section. What does obese mean?” I snickered as my wife explained what it meant and warned them to be careful, because it’s not a nice thing to call people. This of course ignited a spark in them and they ran around saying that she was obese. Like a good father I stepped in and told them that they couldn’t call anyone obese. Our second son decided to put a clever spin on the rule and shouted, “Mommy is a beast, not obese!” I couldn’t help but laugh as they again began running around chanting, “A BEAST, A BEAST!” My wife looked at them and then at me as I tried to cover up my laughter. I had to hear the ‘you need to be an example’ spiel for a few minutes. I mustered up the most serious face I could and put an end to the chant – but I couldn’t help but laugh on the inside.
My suggestion: If your wife is a plus size, suggest to her that she skip the assessment stage of the Wii Fit until she is alone, or at least suggest that the ‘Obese Meter’ be covered up so the kids can’t see it. I think it would also be wise to show your kids a picture of a real beast so they won’t get confused in the future.
UPDATE: My wife just proofread this post, and of course I’m in trouble again. Apparently she isn’t technically a “plus size.” At least that is what she is trying to tell me. I always thought plus size just meant big, but she’s claiming it has to do with a special section of the store which she has never shopped in. I’m still not so sure, but we’ll save that argument for a future Great Debate.
5 Responses to “Do Not Let Your Kids Call Mommy ‘Obese’ or ‘A Beast’”
wow I must say the material in this post is shocking how did this get through the proofreading. I must say boys love a good chant it must be something about our savage instincts but I remember having many wild chants as a child with my bros and they still happen from time to time- it’s great to see the tradition carries on- although not in a good setting.
By phillyz on Feb 17, 2009
I can vouch for Nancy that she is definitely not a plus size. Plus sizes are like 22. She probably wears like a 12 or maybe 14, like me, which is only a couple sizes bigger than before she had all those cute boys of yours.
By Heather on Feb 19, 2009
Didn’t she just have a baby not too long ago? And don’t you guys have several kiddos already? I have a 5 month old and I am still working on getting that baby fat off. I am sure that she looks wonderful.
I am totaly jealous b/c I want a wii fit.
By Ladybird on Feb 20, 2009
I have also learned that “ladies sizes” and “women’s sizes” have the same connotation as “plus sizes.” This makes absolutely no sense to me. If women aren’t women’s sizes what are they?
This reminds me of the much earlier post on being “rubenesque.” All I can say is that if “baby’s got back” I can live with that.
“I love quotes”
By karlmalone on Feb 25, 2009
I definitely snorted my water reading this post! LOL!
By Clueless Newlywed on Mar 2, 2009