Don’t Tell Your Wife that Someone Had to Talk You Out of a Terrible Gift
Lesson 28: It’s The Thought That Counts (Against You)
You may think this post sounds familiar, and it should. Last year I explained that telling your wife about a gift you wanted to get her doesn’t actually count unless you buy it: Lesson 2: It’s Not The Thought That Counts
Well, the lesson was slightly different in a recent experience.
Lesson 28: Don’t tell your wife about the bad gift you almost got her.
As inevitable as it is every December, the time once again neared for my wife to celebrate her birthday. I couldn’t think of anything to get her and was too scared to ask her since she always wants it to be a surprise. I was lamenting about the situation to my coworkers when I suddenly noticed something on my shelf. There, tucked behind some books, was a bouquet of fake flowers. This bouquet was placed in my office as a joke some years back, but I never bothered throwing it away. As I looked at the arrangement of flowers, a light bulb turned on and I realized I had a present to give my wife. I excitedly told my coworkers about the idea, but they weren’t as sold on it. They said something about it being ugly. Whatever. I decided not to give my wife the flowers.
I came home and told my wife about the entire thing and tried to laugh it off. I noticed that she wasn’t laughing. I was then told that telling my wife about bad presents I didn’t buy was worse than good presents that I didn’t buy.
My Suggestion: Just don’t talk to your wife about presents at all. Instead, buy 3-4 possible gifts. Hide them and then provide the gifts one at a time until you feel like you have met your wife’s expectations. You can then return the other gifts that were unused.
7 Responses to “Don’t Tell Your Wife that Someone Had to Talk You Out of a Terrible Gift”
I am not sure why you men think gift giving is such a hard thing! Do you ever pay attention to the things that make her happy? I suspect fake flowers is not one of them! What kinds of gifts did you give her when you were courting her? Ask her when she gets something new why she picked that out as opposed to something else. Have conversations with her about what makes her happy. But do it now and write it down if you have to! Then you can surprise her next year for her birthday because she’ll think you probably forgot!
By Jane on Jan 5, 2009
Hmm. That almost makes sense. It might make more sense than anything else I’ve ever heard you say, Donkey!
By Nancy Sabina on Jan 5, 2009
So you really need to get an amazon wishlist. It is a place where you can add stuff from the whole web. This has been great for my marriage. Both my husband and I have one and then when it’s birthday time we have a good place to draw and we can also follow our own creativity. You really ought to check it out.
By vickie on Jan 5, 2009
Jane- you crazy girl! ask her what makes her happy? let me show you how that would turn out “what makes you happy dear” wife- ” you should know what makes me happy by now, or maybe you just don’t care enough” hubby- “i’m asking because i do care” wife “if you really cared you would figure it out”
By phillyz on Jan 6, 2009
The Year I almost ruined my marriage.
By some guy who’d rather not leave his name.
The men in my family are not known for being great gift givers and I was no exception. One year for Christmas I bought my wife some exercise equipment, workout clothes and a scale. bad idea I know, but really my heart was in the right place. She had been talking about how badly she wanted to loose some weight and then she rattled off all the things she needed to do it. I wrote down each one and then secretly rushed out to buy them.
I was so proud as I expertly wrapped them one by one thinking I had nailed it that year. When I got to the scale it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Was actually planning to give my wife a scale for Christmas??? The exercise clothing was iffy but a scale?… A scale was a scale no matter how you sliced it. It seemed the only thing I’d left out was the name of good divorce attorney.
The next morning I unwrapped everything and returned it. Instead I bought her a nice ironing board and a frying pan…no I’m kidding… I bought her a necklace like the one she had wanted when we first got married but never bought because we couldn’t really afford it at the time.
Pretty romantic, huh? I thought so until the day after Christmas when she returned the necklace and bought an ironing board, some exercise equipment and a scale.
Now I just give her gift certificates so she can pick out her own things.
By Not my Real Name on Jan 8, 2009
Not my real name, I wish you would leave it so I could thank you for a great and inspirational story. The question of what women want is a pure hoax. “Women” don’t want anything, your particular woman wants something but that doesn’t mean another will want the same. So much hype has been built around finding that perfect gift that nothing will be good enough. If girls or guys get offended at gifts they receive, they should be more thankful for the blessings they do have. I always get a crapload of unwanted gifts at Christmas from friends and family alike. I love them dearly and thank them politely. I am grateful I can return stuff to Walmart without a receipt for store credit. Putting a loved on in the doghouse because he or she didn’t align the stars for you is selfish and makes people feel bad. I say kill the gift mystique and save receipts.
By karlmalone on Jan 14, 2009
Fake flowers are pretty bad but I am the proud owner of a pair of fishing waders and boots. No I’m not joking. My husband returned the wonderful hunting packback I bought him for Christmas, that his father would have killed for (he told me so), and used the money to buy me waders and boots for my birthday. Mind you this was the first birthday we had been married for.
I am a loving wife and wouldn’t have minded so much except that since that time (2 years) I have used the waders 3 times and 2 of those 3 times I asked him to go fishing. What a waste of money!
By Wife of an Outdoors man on Jan 19, 2009