Breast Milk Color Doesn’t Identify What Your Wife Has Eaten
Milk and Cookies
Scene: The Wife has just pumped milk into some bottles. The Donkey notices the bottles as he is cleaning the pump.
Donkey: Why is your milk green?
Wife: Breast milk always has a bluish tint.
Donkey: What? I never heard of that. Anyway, this is green. Were you sneaking some green-frosted sugar cookies?
Wife: Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t tell what I have eaten by the color of the milk. Besides, I don’t need to sneak cookies. I can eat them whenever I want.
Donkey: When I donate plasma it is different colors depending on what medicine I have taken and what I have eaten. I am going to check the cookie plate.
Wife: Whatever.
12 Responses to “Breast Milk Color Doesn’t Identify What Your Wife Has Eaten”
Your banter is the best.
What do think about doing a series of episodes on the topic of Wife’s Tales similar to hit show MythBusters. I’m sure your followers could come up with a bunch of Wife’s Tales that you could test, de-bunk, bust, or prove true! You’ve already done quite a few i nyour past posts. Do a year’s worth of the episodes and then publish a book on them!
Just an idea…
By Brad on Dec 14, 2008
i love the wifebusters idea- good call Brad. I would also like to know if food does affect breast milk color- maybe it was moldy
By phillyz on Dec 14, 2008
It didn’t seem to occur to the Donkey that his wife could have been eating healthy green foods (like salads, veggies!).
By Jane on Dec 15, 2008
Perhaps Green Eggs and Ham?
By Mr. Mustachio on Dec 15, 2008
And another thing, am I the only one tempted to make a milkshake with breast milk and pass it off on some unsuspecting house guest?
By Mr. Mustachio on Dec 15, 2008
Mr. Mustachio: you aren’t the only one tempted to use breast milk for felonious purposes. I asked my wife to make hot chocolate last night and she attempted to put breast milk in it to cool it off. Nasty!
By The Donkey on Dec 15, 2008
I slipped some into my toddler’s sippy cup the other day…it didn’t go over too well. She took a big gulp then started making gagging noises. Maybe I had eaten onions that day or something. Funny enough I still think she could get used to it(again) if I keep trying. Luckily I have a husband who has since put his foot down.
By Havilah on Dec 15, 2008
Definitely amusing– glad you two are enjoying this stage in your life!
By MInTheGap on Dec 16, 2008
this might be too much information, but i once pumped pink milk. it was because i was bleeding, not so fun but it was kind of humorous. and don’t worry i didn’t try to feed it to my baby, that would be a different story for a different kind of person.
By chelsea on Dec 16, 2008
I don’t know much about this. Do you think if you slammed down a fistful of chocolate you would give your kid a Nestle Quik experience?
By karlmalone on Dec 17, 2008
If you ate a ton of choc before breast feeding you wouldn’t get choc milk, you’d get a baby that’s up ALL night and cranky from all the caffinee in the choc. Boys!
By Kairy on Dec 24, 2008