Extreme Makeover: Wife Edition

From The Donkey

I have been thinking about a new show called Extreme Makeover: Wife Edition. I’m not quite sure how it would work, but I think it would be something like this:

  • Wives can be nominated for makeovers. Husbands can nominate their own wives or other women in need.
  • A committee of judges determine which wives are selected for the makeover. Areas of consideration include: hygiene, hair, complexion, weight, overall fitness, and homemaking skills.
  • The Extreme Makeover team snatches up the unsuspecting wife in the middle of the night and drives her to an undisclosed location for a 6-8 week boot camp.
  • At the end of the makeover, the husband is reunited with his newly made-over wife. She is now more attractive and trained to manage the household.

I’m looking for both sponsors and feedback. All ideas are welcome!

  1. 31 Responses to “Extreme Makeover: Wife Edition”

  2. You know, the girl at the salon I go to was telling me a story about a woman whose husband got her a certificate for 6 brazilian waxes she had never asked. She cried the whole time because she thought her husband didn’t think she was attractive and ended up not being able to go through with it.
    I think a show where men nominated their wives for a makeover would be even worse than what that poor girl felt.

    If the wife decided to do it though, then that would be okay. Or if she got like a million dollars or something for the most dramatic change. Then at least, she has some money in the end if she decides her husband was a jerk for putting her through it all.

    By April on Sep 16, 2008

  3. Any husband who would nominate his wife for something like that deserves whatever he gets when his now-a-knockout wife comes back home, takes stock of him, and realizes how much better she could do.

    By ToilingAnt on Sep 16, 2008

  4. I agree with all the comments above! Donkey you’re no Brad Pitt so unless you plan on making over yourself then you should’t ask your poor wife too, espically since she just had YOUR child!!!!

    By Kairy on Sep 16, 2008

  5. Hopefully no one would be dumb enough to sponsor such a thing!

    As for feedback, the previous three writers said it pretty well. Your best bet would be to destroy this column before your wife can see it! Or should I not assume that you wanted to nominate your own wife?

    By Jane on Sep 16, 2008

  6. I can’t see the point in making over a wife (especially yours – but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are not talking about the Saintly Angel to whom you are married) – but I would be for Extreme Makeover: All Men Who Think Their Wives Should Be Slaves Edition.

    Maybe you should contact ABC?

    By Leslie on Sep 16, 2008

  7. Well, Donkey, I think you should sign up. But only because I’d like to see how you do without your wife around for 6 to 8 weeks.

    By Nancy Sabina on Sep 16, 2008

  8. I can only hope this post was meant as humor, but I didn’t find it funny at all.
    To those that know the Donkey, is he really like this? Or is this just an act for this site?
    Last time he said something this bad, I wrote how awful I thought it was and his wife came to his defense so I imagine she would here too.
    But any man who would seriously have these thoughts, especially after his wife has given birth to their baby, has his head buried somewhere and if he ever pulls it out, it’s not going to smell that good.

    By Shannon on Sep 16, 2008

  9. Well, I can’t say what I think of this idea. I would love a makeover, and I know my husband would “nominate” me for that reason. However… How about Extreme Makeover: Husband Edition! I wouldn’t nominate my husband because I think he’s great, he cooks, he cleans, and most of all he loves me… but you on the other hand I bet your wife would be dying to nominate you at the moment!

    By Erika on Sep 16, 2008

  10. Gad Zooks, You’ve done it again Dr.D. This forward thinking will revolutionize entertainment and household harmony all over the world- I smell Nobel

    By phillyz on Sep 16, 2008

  11. I love it! Can I be nominated? I’m all for being better looking even if that means I have to work on my homemaking skills. Ladies you need to loosen up a little -geez

    By Karen on Sep 16, 2008

  12. Karen, what are you doing out of the kitchen???

    (I think Karen is The Donkey in disguise.)

    By Shannon on Sep 17, 2008

  13. I think its a great idea! 6-8 weeks away from the responsibilities of life with nothing else to do but focus on my own needs, health & happiness. All those improvements would be a breeze without a high maintenance husband hanging around demanding more attention than all the kids combined. I’d probably be shipshape by week 3, but I’d stay to the bitter end just to make hubby happy. What hubby wants, hubby gets! And I’d expect when I came home that he didn’t let his hygiene, hair, complexion, weight, and overall fitness slide while I was away. Gee…I hope he wouldn’t realize while I was gone that I was dispensable, because clearly he has all that going on AND is a more capable housekeeper and parent than me. I mean, the love, honor, commitment, affection and values that I bring to the family unit don’t seem to be as important as the hygiene, hair, complexion, weight, overall fitness, and homemaking skills that he desires in a wife. Where ARE my priorities?!?

    By wifelikeme on Sep 17, 2008

  14. Donkey you truly are an innovator. Your wife should be grateful that her husband is looking out for her best interest. All these comments form G.I. Jane are shocking, why wouldn’t a wife want to know how she could improve? Oh well, you can’t please everyone.

    By Bob on Sep 17, 2008

  15. Wives KNOW how they can improve. They just don’t want their husbands to tell them !

    I know my husband sure doesn’t like it when I suggest a change he could make. Why would we?

    By April on Sep 17, 2008

  16. A six to eight week vacation from the family? Women should love it?

    By Dameon on Sep 18, 2008

  17. Come on now. Do you think I would really put a fake name in to prove my point? By the way, I am all for a husband version of this show. I would come back buff and more macho.

    By The Donkey on Sep 19, 2008

  18. So if she learns how to run a home better at her make over, what do they teach the men to be more macho? Actually use a club and drag your wife around by her hair if she disobeys you?

    By Kairy on Sep 19, 2008

  19. While I can understand why so many women are upset at the thought that their husband would nominate them for such a makeover, I can’t understand why they would not jump at the chance to have a 6 – 8 week holiday from their ‘home duties’. I would nominate myself if I thought my husband could handle taking over everything I do on a daily basis without going completely insane.

    By Catherine on Sep 21, 2008

  20. Donkey, if you could be thick enough to write the original post then yes I do lol.
    You might as well have said your wife is ugly, fat, stinks and can’t manage a household and this is how long after she gave birth to your child?
    I’m surprised you aren’t up for some kind of husband of the year award. But before you think I’m standing up for your wife, I’m not. I think when a woman has this kind of husband, she’s set herself up for it and must enjoy it or she wouldn’t tolerate it. So you guys are probably a good match up.

    By Shannon on Sep 21, 2008

  21. I think Shannon must have a pair herself to suggest that women who have domineering husbands ‘set themselves up for it.’

    If you have a husband Shannon, do you ever give him his pants back ccasionally?

    By Melinda on Sep 22, 2008

  22. Melinda, I do have a husband…of 15 years and we are tighter now than ever so I must be doing something right. And I do think women with husbands that act like Donkey did in this post set themselves up for it. If you want to be weak and let your husband insult you, so be it, but then don’t start crying when he makes a regular habit of it. I can’t imagine my husband at any time saying the stuff Donkey did here, and especially after I just gave birth to our child. He wouldn’t think to even say it in the first place, he has a stronger character than that, but if he did…he wouldn’t be welcome in my house until he had an attitude adjustment. And I would never disrespect him that way either to insult him like that.
    But like I said in my earlier post, the wife must think it’s funny and like it because she came to his defense before after a similar post. So I think it’s just the way they are.

    By Shannon on Sep 22, 2008

  23. I agree with the Donk on the husband version. How could I take 8 weeks off from work to magically be transformed into this buff dude with a full head of hair? I would also like to be transformed so that I don’t hammer my thumb everytime I do a household chore. I think people would pay a lot of money for that kind of improvement. I suppose women are just more insecure about their shortcomings and the donkey shouldn’t call them on that.

    By karlmalone on Sep 22, 2008

  24. wow, I’m floored! I just can’t imagine why someone would be so shocked that I want to look super sexy for my husband or would like the opportunity to learn how to better repay my husband for all he does for me and our family.

    p.s. this is truly Karen – not an alias – a living breathing wife who doesn’t fear men daring to have original thoughts that differ from her own. Oh and also has a kitchen to clean and some stinky man feet to rub so I don’t have hours a day writing an essay on why I’m always right :)

    By Karen on Sep 22, 2008

  25. I should also add a full-time job and beautiful 8 month old

    By Karen on Sep 22, 2008

  26. Shannon, I think your last comment revealed who really wears the pants.

    “…..he wouldn’t be welcome in my house….”

    So you’d kick your husband our of your house if he dared to be disrespectful to you? Have his own opinion?

    Hmmmm I guess he must like being treated like that because by marrying you he’s set himself up for it.

    Or possibly he’s scared sh*tless of doing something you don’t like.

    By Melinda on Sep 22, 2008

  27. This discussion is getting a bit nasty. I think it’s quite normal, from what I observe in the marriages I see around me and my own marriage, for there to be a more dominant, outspoken partner and a more quiet, more ‘giving’ partner in every relationship. They compliment each other. And when I consider my own friends and family I can say that the ‘dominant’ partner is not always the man either.

    By Catherine on Sep 22, 2008

  28. Excellent. That is a great idea.

    By Fun Husband on Sep 23, 2008

  29. Melinda, to borrow a term in the media lately, I think you’ve entered into silly season on this. If you want to talk about it, that’s cool, but your intentions are to argue so there is no winning there. I guess I said something that made you feel defensive and get silly about it.
    Yes, I would have my husband leave the house if he insulted me in a major way like that. If you let your husband insult you early on, he learns it’s okay to do that and they just get progressively worse. Besides, if you respect yourself, why would a person put up with that?

    I think there is probably context to this post too. In print, it probably looked worse than it was from Donkey. Like there is probably humor to it that his wife sees, but it’s hard to see that in print.

    By Shannon on Sep 23, 2008

  30. On second thought, this might not be a great idea. Who is going to keep the kids for the 6-8 weeks?

    By Fun Husband on Sep 23, 2008

  31. I’m surprised Fox hasn’t already contacted you to produce the show. I think you should add judges at the end to determine who had the most dramatic improvement. I suggest you try and get Shannon (based on her excellent judging ability), David Hasselhoff (because everything is better with The Hoff) and Stevie Wonder(for comedic effect) to be a few of the judges.

    By Mr. Mustachio on Sep 29, 2008

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