Wife on Bed Rest, Husband Stuck at Reunion With The In-Laws (And Kids)
Payback From Way Back: Major Recall Of Previous Marriage Advice
It isn’t often that I find myself sufficiently humbled to retract the advice I provide on this blog, but recent events force me to recall a previous piece of wisdom. I published a series of posts on how to get out of an in-law family reunion. One of the ideas was to get your wife pregnant so she can’t fly on the plane, allowing you to miss the reunion completely. I admitted in the post that I screwed this plan up: I got my wife pregnant, but she was still able to attend the reunion since she would only be 6 months along. This meant attending the reunion and being required to do extra work since she would be pulling the pregnancy card.
Well, things went from bad to worse yesterday. My wife (now 28 weeks along) went to the doctor and her blood pressure was through the roof. The doctor immediately put her on bed rest and said she could not go to the reunion, which starts this weekend. She went back again today for some tests and things are looking a little better. We asked the doctor about the trip again today and he said, “If it were my wife I would absolutely not let her go. You would be crazy.” I took that as a pretty strong ‘No.’ My wife then goaded him along and convinced him to say that she shouldn’t do errands, go to church, or do housework. We are still debating the housework comment because I think he said, “Don’t go around and clean the whole house.” I think part of the house would be ok.
Here are the facts: I still have to go to the reunion. We are still having a 4th boy. I now have to chaperone the kids on the plane and chase after them on my own for an entire week. My wife has already made 2 ice cream requests and is compiling a long list of snacks and other unapproved food items for her week-long vacation. She is also deleting all my movies off Tivo to make room for her own movie marathon.
I should have put a warning label on my previous advice. It would have read: WARNING: Causing Pregnancy to avoid a family reunion can cause serious physical and mental damage and should only be used in the most serious circumstances.
9 Responses to “Wife on Bed Rest, Husband Stuck at Reunion With The In-Laws (And Kids)”
Neener neener neener. See ya there.
By Nancy Sabina on Aug 14, 2008
Great advice.
Do you think that raising a child might be more work than going to family reunion.
Great story
By Fun Husband on Aug 14, 2008
Oh…THAT…is…SO…funny.
My midwife always “made me” take close to a month off after having a baby…2 weeks on bed rest, 2 weeks on light duty. I always viewed pregnancy as a vacation…one of the perks of my job.
I did great with it…8 kids….but I think those days are over and I need to find another excuse..
and hey, four boys isn’t so bad…we have 5 boys and 3 girls…one of them is the retirement plan, we just don;t know which yet.
By marye on Aug 14, 2008
I think this was all her idea in the first place. I mean, one doesn’t get pregnant all by oneself, so my guess is that this was a nefarious plan to teach you a lesson.
I bet she planned getting pregnant, and I wouldn’t put it past her talking to the doctor either.
In any case, a better plan would probably be to spend all the money that you’d need for the plane tickets on a new rug/floor/something else she wants in the house. That way you can say, “We can’t afford this trip.” That might work.
However, I think that the big lesson to take away from this is that sometimes it’s better to leave the cards close to the chest– because sometimes someone may call.
By MInTheGap on Aug 15, 2008
i hope you are doing ok nancy. being on bed rest is no fun. i also know from excperience that dealing with a husband (notice i didn’t say kids) is terrible while being on bed rest! i’d love to catch up with you if you’re ever board out of your mind. i’ll email you my number if you ever want to catch up.
sara
By sara kelley on Aug 15, 2008
Don’t trust that doctor! I think you should get a second opinion. Also, the trip could possibly cause you a severe psychological stress injury making you about as useful as a house plant and your wife would be left alone to raise the kids and take care of you!
By Urbane Lion on Aug 15, 2008
That is hilarious! I need to keep that in mind for my next pregnancy
Although really bedrest sucks and your wife is probably sad she is missing the reuinion. So she deserves lots of ice cream and other goodies!
By Michelle on Aug 16, 2008
This proves without a doubt there is a God, He loves women, and He has a very good scenes of humor!!!! Most important though, I hope you are blessed with a very healthy and happy son in apx 3 months
By Kairy on Aug 17, 2008
There was a Bud Light commercial a couple years ago that gave the perfect solution for getting out of a reunion: vikings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH2T8tYhAAU
By Arthur Dent on Aug 19, 2008