He Said She Said: Should A Husband and Wife Let Their Son Knit?
He said
When I was younger my mom signed my brothers and me up for dance lessons. We took tap, jazz, and ballet every week for nearly the entire school year. With about a month left before the big recital, we finally refused to go to our lessons, and thus ended our dancing days. I was 14 years old and just felt weird about the whole thing. I vowed then and there to never put my sons through the same kind of stuff.
I have nothing against knitting. In fact, I think I still have an afghan my mom made me when I was little. But I do have a problem with little 6 year old boys knitting. It just seems strange. I can’t imagine coming home and seeing my son sitting on some lawn chair knitting booties for the neighborhood kids. My wife’s argument is that it helps his dexterity, but certainly we can find other activities for him to do to help with this. Starting fires, playing the guitar, and creating Lego creations are all ways to help develop those skills. Holding everything else constant, wouldn’t I choose for my sons to do boy things and for my daughters to do girl things? My wife has never suggested for my son to receive a My Little Pony toy or a pink dress, so why have him start a hobby that is predominantly female based?
She Said
C’mom, let’s get serious. This obviously isn’t an issue at all. I think boys and girls typically are drawn to different things–for various reasons–but that doesn’t mean that there is a problem with a little cross-over. If we had a daughter, we would have no problem if she wanted to play sports or set up a little town and play cars and trains with the boys. If I were to buy a latch hook rug kit for our son, I would bring him to the store and let him pick one out; most likely he would pick one out that had a pattern of a dog or a car on it.
Why would it be bad for a boy to spend a little time making something, instead of sitting around the house watching tv or playing computer games? I happen to know that The Donkey spent a large portion of his childhood watching musicals, and he always wanted an Easy-Bake oven of his own; clearly he still managed to come out on the chauvinist-pig side of things, right?
What do you think? Cast your vote below…
15 Responses to “He Said She Said: Should A Husband and Wife Let Their Son Knit?”
Donkey – you wanted to quit dance lessons, so you did. Why can’t it be the same for your child? Let him choose what he wants to do. If he wants to knit, let him. When he gets tired of it (because he’s a child, not because he’s a boy) let him quit.
By Nancy Sabina on Aug 4, 2008
First of all, doing a latchhook rug is NOT knitting!
It’s kind of fun watching a pattern develop when you do the latchhook. I agree with your wife and with Nancy. If it’s something he wants to do, then let him do it. Don’t you remember the famous football player (Roosevelt Greer maybe?) who used to do needlepoint? Your son will be doing the latchhook rug at home, so it’s not like your dance lessons at all–no public recital. If you can afford the kit, then I see no reason not to let him give it a try.
By Jane on Aug 4, 2008
I’d like to point out that latch hook is not the same thing as knitting booties. And besides, latch hook will teach your son fine motor skills and physical dexterity that will later make him a great craftsman with power tools — how manly is that?
By Ginkgo100 on Aug 4, 2008
I’m a big fan of child directed interests. If the child is ASKING to do an activity that doesn’t compromise their safety or development (and cost isn’t an issue), why would you say no? The more diverse their experiences in life, the better balanced I believe they grow up to be. Good for them on wanting to give it a go I say!!!
By Lightening on Aug 4, 2008
I grew up with three sisters and no brothers. Sisters did knitting as well as latch hook rugs. Mom bought a kit for me for a pillow that had a Cardinal on it. Being a St. Louis Cardinal fan, this worked out well for a more “masculine” theme. I took that pillow with me to college and along with me after I was married before it wore out and had to be tossed.
There’s nothing wrong with letting a boy work on a latch hook rug – just make sure it has a masculine theme to it. Escpecially a 6 year old – boys his age are too young to be bothered by those stereo types.
Now, if your wife wanted your 14 year old son to take ballet lessons, that’s something to be concerned about
By Dameon on Aug 5, 2008
I grew up with three sisters and no brothers. Sisters did knitting as well as latch hook rugs. Mom bought a kit for me for a pillow that had a Cardinal on it. Being a St. Louis Cardinal fan, this worked out well for a more “masculine” theme. I took that pillow with me to college and along with me after I was married before it wore out and had to be tossed.
By Mike Jamorama Hammil on Aug 5, 2008
The fact that The Wife is bringing up childhood musical watching and easy-bake-oven desires should be enough to support The Donkey’s stance. If you allow your boy to knit now, he will never live it down. There are plenty of manly activities Boy Wonder can be involved in. If the wife insists on purchasing the knitting junk anyway, I suggest that the Donkey teach Boy Wonder how to start a fire with it.
p.s. When do we get to see video of The Donkey’s fabulous jazz dancing skills?
By Mr. Mustachio on Aug 5, 2008
I don’t see the harm in a little cross over either- in fact buy a dress and some cute barrets to go along with the knitting kit. ARE YOU KIDDING PEOPLE? this little feller needs some testosterone guidance.
By phillyz on Aug 5, 2008
Let him have the latch hook kit. Phillyz you are ridiculous. I am going to put your sons in dresses and barrets after I buy them each a doll and stroller to push the doll around in!!!
By Karine on Aug 6, 2008
For the past several years knitting has been quite the trendiest, most street wise thing for boys to do, especially among skateboarding/surfing/etc. teenage guys
I don’t live in the US though.
I would let the kid try what he wants, can’t do any harm. Forcing him to do ‘guy things’ would most surely do.
By sarri on Aug 9, 2008
My little brother is 12 now, but when he was about 6, he was into making things like this. Now he’s more into baseball than anything else, but he I think that there is no shame in men being able to do anything they want to. We’re all for girls/women being able to do anything a man can do, but we are still repressing our sons. Creativity and willingness to learn are important skills for any child to learn.
I personally taught my own husband to knit. He doesn’t choose to spend time on this activity, but the fact is that he knows what work goes into my hobby and can appreciate what I love. I learned to play World Of Warcraft so that I can spend more time with him and enjoy something he does. Neither of us has become either more masculine or more feminine by our activities.
By Amanda on Aug 9, 2008
This is a stupid debate.
Stop shoving your kids into gender roles. Girls don’t have to play hosue and dolls, boys don’t have to play just trucks and war.
A boy doing latch hook isn’t going to hurt him.
Neither is a boy doing dance class.
What if your boy is an incredible dancer? Or great at designing? What if your daughter is great at math and sports?
What if your son grows up to be a nurse or daycare teacher? What if your daughter decides not to have children at all?
Will you shame your children into following
gender roles that society has assigned to them?
One of my step-dads best friends (a guy) was taught to knit, sew, crochet and cook from his mom (along with his siblings) and he also learned all that man-car stuff from his dad (stuff my dad, who was a car guy, never taught me, just expected that i’d know these things).
Like Amanda said: we’re all for women becoming more “man like”, but men are discourged from exploring their “feminine side”.
By asrai on Aug 12, 2008
Now I understand why shows like High School Musical have very feminine actors in them. Their parents probably bought them knitting kits when they were younger. I can’t believe you lost this one Donkey. I guess you’ll have to look at the good news, he might grow up and make lots of money frolicking around and sinigng.
By Ryan on Aug 19, 2008
I realize this post is over a year old but I just found it. Knitting, weaving, embroidery…all that use to be a MAN’S job. A MAN’S profession. Only in the last 100 years has it really become more “fashionable”, more “acceptable” for it to be a woman’s job. Growing up, my mother taught my two brothers and I how to work cross stitch, plastic canvas, and basic sewing. She was and is of the mind that boys/men need to know how to care for themselves, clothe themselves when they are on their own. If they have little money but can afford to buy fabric, yarn, etc., then they can make clothes, something to keep warm.
I live in a home of 6 people. Of the six, I am the ONLY WOMAN! My second oldest bonus son taught ME how to do basic crocheting. He is now in culinary school. The oldest, who is one of the most masculine men I know, has his degree in massage therapy. Both of them are self-taught computer geeks, thanks to their dad. The two younger boys are both interested in the fact that I knit and want to learn. They are both adept at photography and have won awards for their photographs. The 10 year old plans to be a paleontologist (God, save me from the parent plus loans!) and has more paleo/dino books than our local and school libraries. The youngest wants to study rocks, so I have a budding geologist on my hands. And if they want me to teach them how to knit, I will. Just because they are male doesn’t mean they shouldn’t learn how to create things that will better their lives. Heck, even if it’s a dishcloth! A scarf to keep them warm, a winter hat! My boys, all four, are tough. They are boys. At the same time, they will be taught how to survive. Sometimes that involves knitting needles and a sewing machine. (which, by the way, I am terrified of mine and DH has used it more than I have…just so you know, DH spent 8 years in the Marine Corps.)
A few great projects that are perfect for boys: camouflage yarn and a blanket pattern; cotton yarn and small needles to make a DS holder/MP3 holder; find a pattern for a market bag/eco grocery bag. Heck, cut up plastic grocery bags and tie them together to make yarn then use it for knitting!
This isn’t something that your son has to advertise. Besides, he is young, so the interest may pass quickly. Who knows, being as this post is a year old, he may have already lost interest by now.
By Jennifer on Aug 12, 2009