WifeAdvice.com

This month is Survive The Heat In Your Bed month. The Donkey provides tips on staying cool in the hot summer nights.

Piping In Cool Air

An obvious way to stay cool is to utilize a ventilation system. Someone mentioned in the comments last time that a husband should leave the bed if it’s too hot. I agree. That is a perfectly acceptable option. Lay down on the floor with your feet near the vent. Wrap yourself in the sheet and then tuck the sheet under your feet. Slide your feet so they pass over the vent and rest them on the other side. (The air should now be blowing on your calves.) If done correctly, your sheet should blow up like a mini planetarium and you will have your own frosty sanctuary.

You can also utilize the vent with a little help from the tubing of toilet paper rolls. If your wife is like mine, you probably have a bunch of these lying around the bedroom and in the bathroom already. I have no idea how she uses so much toilet paper, but it seems like I find an empty roll every other day. First, unravel several rolls and tape them together to form a dome and place it on top of the vent. Cut a circular hole in the top and insert a separate roll. If stable, you can begin to place additional rolls onto the dome to create a long telescope-like structure. Run the tube up to your bed and under your sheets, pillow, pants, or shirt for a nice cool evening. You’ve become Prince of the Pipeline and you have something much more valuable than oil … relief from a veritable human furnace.