Don’t Tell Your Mom That Your Wife Can’t Bake a Potato
Lesson 25: Cooked!
When my wife and I first got married I would frequently try to get her to make me food. I’m not sure if I was indoctrinated by the various musicals I watched as a kid that showed women cooking for men (namely Seven Brides For Seven Brothers), but I had this idea that I would find prepared food on the kitchen table whenever I walked through the door. My wife did not live up to the stereotype; she did some of the cooking, but she typically refused to make simple things that I could easily make on my own.
Lesson 25: Don’t ask your mom how to bake a potato in an attempt to illustrate the fact that your wife isn’t versatile in the kitchen.
One evening my wife and I decided to have baked potatoes, and she flat out refused to do all the work. I went over to the phone and called my mom. The conversation that my wife heard from the other room went something like this, “Hey mom, I’m just calling because we are wondering how to bake a potato… ”
Like a current running through a piece of copper wire, my wife flew into the room exclaiming, “I know how to bake a potato; don’t be ridiculous.” I explained to my mom that my wife might actually know how to make the potato, and I thanked her for her time. Fuming, my wife went on about how I made her look like a fool to my mom. I didn’t quickly learn my lesson because I have called my mom over the years and have asked how long it takes to boil water, how pink chicken can be, can I cut the mold off of cheese, do grapes really need to be washed, and does syrup have to be in the refrigerator. These questions usually resulted because my wife wouldn’t boil the water, check the chicken, cut the mold off, wash the grapes, or put the syrup away for me.
My suggestion: Don’t call your mom with simple cooking questions. Your wife will get upset if you ask ridiculously obvious questions that she could have answered.
Photo by: Tanya Dropbear
12 Responses to “Don’t Tell Your Mom That Your Wife Can’t Bake a Potato”
Donkey – I think you got off lightly. If my husband had done something like that to me, he would’ve encountered the fierce side of the frying pan.
By Cath Lawson on Jul 23, 2008
I think the Donkey has proposed legitimate questions to his mother.
By Doc on Jul 23, 2008
I suggest Google next time.
By Employee No. 3699 on Jul 23, 2008
when I stop laughing..I may be able to read the rest of your blog……
By marye on Jul 23, 2008
Has it really taken you this long to figure this one out? I think this should be ascribed a more prominent number than 25 due to its importance!
By Jane on Jul 24, 2008
boil your own f****** potato!!
By vanessa on Jul 24, 2008
Since I can’t ask my mom, how do you bake a potato?
By Mr. Mustachio on Jul 25, 2008
how long it takes to boil water, how pink chicken can be, can I cut the mold off of cheese, do grapes really need to be washed, and does syrup have to be in the refrigerator.
I’m a mom, so I will answer your questions! It depends on how much and how hot it is to start, not very but it’s better to use a meat thermometer than to rely on color, yes, yes, and no.
Also, you can’t back a potato in the microwave, though my husband thinks you can. You can steam it in the microwave, though, and that’s almost as good, and a lot faster.
And you gave good advice in this post. Never, ever, ever, ever make your wife look weak in the face of her mother-in-law. Not if you enjoy either sex or harmony in the home.
By Ginkgo100 on Jul 26, 2008
Why ask your mom such questions when you have the internet to help you?! Andy found this great site today and I learned a few tips, too!
http://www.howtobakeapotato.com/
Now if we could only find a website that was something like: http://www.howtocleanupbarffromthelawn.com.
Or:
http://www.howtocookasteakwithoutlightingtheentiregrillonfire.com
Now that would be helpful!
By Mityma on Jul 26, 2008
Maybe your mom should feel like a fool for not teaching you how to bake a potato or boil water.
By Maitai on Jul 31, 2008
OMG… too funny! You sure know how to get in trouble don’t you! I agree with Mityma. Both your Mom’s should be ashamed for not teaching you how to cook! LOL
By Urbane Lion on Aug 12, 2008