Need Advice? We're full of it
Here’s where we answer our readers’ questions. Please don’t blame us if our suggestions don’t work for you–you’re the one taking advice from a Donkey.
Dear Donkey and Wife:
My husband and I came home from a long trip and we had some milk in the fridge we weren’t sure about…we all know how men can be– i was the one to test whether it was spoiled or not. What i am wondering is, who should test to see if the milk is spoiled?
- The husband is often a major source of income. You don’t want to lose the breadwinner to some spoiled milk or a wacky garbage disposal that gnaws off his arm while he is looking for a miniature fork.
- Husbands have a knack for covering up tasteless/bad food with salt and sugar to make it go down. How many of us have been subjected to a bad dinner? You gotta force it down so your wife won’t get offended. There is no doubt that your husband will dump a little chocolate powder into the milk if it tastes sour. When you ask, “Is the milk sour,” he will respond, “Tastes great with some Nesquick.”
- Women are more nurturing by nature. It would make sense to play to your strength and sacrifice one for the team. Why waste the energy forcing your husband to be something he is not? His skill is probably sleeping, so let him have a few extra winks while you go down to the basement to find out what the noise is and why there is a broken window.
- Finally, I believe that there is a biological reason too. Women produce milk. They are more equipped to distinguish between milk that is good and milk that is sour. A man does not possess the glands or hormones to produce milk and might not have the chemical makeup to make the distinction.
Does anyone really need to taste the sour milk? I’m willing to take a sniff, but if The Donkey tried to get me to test it by drinking, I would just throw the milk out and get a new gallon. If he tried to make me stick my arm down the garbage disposal, I would just say the mini-fork was a loss, and go out and buy a new disposal and a new silverware set. Instead of chasing down strange noises in the night, I would just stop saying NO to the salesman that comes to my door every month and finally get an alarm system installed.
Do you see where I’m going with this? As long as I refuse the task, and find an alternative that involves spending more money, my “frugal” (cheapskate) husband will give in and save the money from being spent. Problem solved.
Any other advice for Sour Sport?