Wife Lessons Learn from Donkey's mistakes, even if he cant
Lesson 22: Cold Reception for Cold Cereal
It’s that time of year again where men everywhere cringe because they have no idea how to celebrate Mother’s Day or what kinds of niceties would acknowledge the work mothers do. Roses? Candy? Cleaning the house? A nice letter? When we first got married I didn’t do anything for my wife because she wasn’t a mother. I quickly learned that somehow in her mind and by the world’s definition she was a mother and needed to be recognized. Mother’s Day hasn’t gotten easier over the years, and I am still confused about what we are supposed to be doing, but I have learned a few things.
Wife Lesson 22: A bowl of cereal at 7:15 in the morning is not a great Mother’s Day tradition.
Last year I decided to let my kids choose what to do for Mother’s Day. I thought this would keep me in the clear if the idea was lousy. After all, it wasn’t mine! The kids woke up at 6:30 am and I went down to watch them so my wife could sleep. At around 7 am the kids said they wanted to serve their mom breakfast in bed.
“Good idea,” I told them. “What should we make?”
They insisted on Honey Bunches of Oats cereal. No big mess, no cooking, and low fat. “Great idea,” I said. At 7:15 am we the bowl of cereal up to my wife while she was sleeping. She opened her eyes and smiled at the kids. Then she looked at the clock. Then she saw me holding the bowl of cereal. I was smiling because I knew she would think the cereal was on the ridiculous side, but I thought I could get away with her thinking it was cute because the kids thought of it.
“What are you doing up here so early?” she wondered.
“We were bored,” was the only explanation I could offer. We spent the rest of the morning watching cartoons on the bed with her. Needless to say, she was pretty annoyed.
Normally I don’t learn from these lessons, but the other day our oldest said, “Daddy, what should we make mommy for breakfast for Mother’s Day?” I let him pick and he said, “How about Crunchy Nuggets?” (imitation Grape Nuts) We decided something a little more elaborate would be in order.
My suggestion: As usual, stick with conventional gifts and ideas to stay out of trouble. Hot breakfast in bed (but not before 9 am), a little getaway, a day off from cleaning, or a homemade present are all safe ways to recognize your wife. And for those of you way out there – NO – recreating your first child’s birth with a few plastic bags, an extension cord, and some strawberry sauce is also not a good idea to celebrate motherhood. Believe me!