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Foolish

I wasn’t at my computer much yesterday, which means I missed a lot of the April Foolery which was spread all over the web. The Donkey and I didn’t really do much to celebrate the holiday. I did miss an opportunity when I sent him an email with some details about our budget; I could have easily reported a lower bottom line, which would have sent him into a dizzying shock and rendered him useless at work for the remainder of the day.

I, on the other hand, am not very easily shocked–simply because I am married to a donkey. He doesn’t limit his crazy comments to the first day of April, and now that I am pregnant (thanks everyone for your well-wishes), the craziness has been cranked up a notch. No, our announcement was no joke, and neither was any of this:

The Donkey’s Early Reactions to Pregnancy

• Despite 3-4 weeks of symptoms and a positive test, he continued to instruct me to “just wait until the doctor’s appointment, so you can find out if you really are pregnant.“
• I got home from an early-morning walk yesterday and stood on the scale. So far, regular exercise has helped me to maintain a constant weight, despite my expanding waistline. I was feeling pretty good about that fact until The Donkey spoke up: “All that exercise and you haven’t even lost any weight yet?!“
• A few times while searching the kitchen for something to eat, I’ve mentioned that nothing really sounds good, since I am feeling pretty nauseous. The Donkey claims he doesn’t remember any nausea during my first three pregnancies! This is when I start wishing that I were one of those women who puked when pregnant, simply so I could have some proof.
• The Donkey assures me that even puking wouldn’t prove much. He goes on to recite the history of Queen Victoria, who once upon a time was very ill, and vomited frequently during a pregnancy. Consequently, all the peasants started thinking this was a normal symptom of pregnancy, so they all started feeling nauseous and vomiting when they were pregnant. Only later was it revealed that the Queen was just coincidentally suffering from a different disease during her pregnancy, which was the true cause of her nausea and vomiting. But ever since that time, The Donkey theorized women puke when pregnant, simply because they imagine that they’re supposed to. Please don’t bother checking Wikipedia; of course he made the whole thing up; but he assured me that he’s “half-kidding” about it all.

Again, a big thank you to all of you for your well-wishes during this time; as you can see, I certainly need them.

Disclaimer: The Donkey happens to be the best Dad ever, which is the only reason I can survive the 9-months of pure insanity.