Comments on: Can Married People Go Out to Eat With Members of Opposite Sex? http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/ Funny marriage stories from a clueless husband and his patient wife Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:15:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: Hailie http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-3746 Hailie Sun, 16 Oct 2011 08:04:14 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-3746 I need opinion w my case... I was bout to go to work and my husband approach me and told me not to pack him lunch . I ask him why? And his response is my coworker ask me wat place in town that makes good burrito . So im taking my coworker to this place el sombrero. So i ask him let me guest is this coworker a womem? It took him 5 sec to answer yes. My husband knows i wouldnt agree . I am an asian and he knew i am not comfortable if he goes out lunch w female coworker. And wat makes me really upset y would he makes plan taking her out w out asking me first if it is ok. Amd y he couldnt say female coworker? I need opinion w my case… I was bout to go to work and my husband approach me and told me not to pack him lunch . I ask him why? And his response is my coworker ask me wat place in town that makes good burrito . So im taking my coworker to this place el sombrero. So i ask him let me guest is this coworker a womem? It took him 5 sec to answer yes. My husband knows i wouldnt agree . I am an asian and he knew i am not comfortable if he goes out lunch w female coworker. And wat makes me really upset y would he makes plan taking her out w out asking me first if it is ok. Amd y he couldnt say female coworker?

]]> By: James http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-3745 James Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:43:20 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-3745 Jamie, this is not completely crazy. I agree, that yes, married people can sometimes have lunc with the opposite sex. But it should be open and transparent. And understand something, just because something works for you, doesn't mean it works for everybody else. Glad you don't have a problem with what your husband does. I'm sure he's a swell, honest and open guy. But in reality, things have happened because of an "everything is okay" policy in marriage. What would you say if your husband had lunch twice a week alone with the same woman who was attractive and single. Would you mind then? What if it were dinner with a single attractive woman, a dinner that included wine in a romantic restaurant. I guess that wouldn't matter either. Believe it or not, your husband is not incapable of finding another woman atrractive and acting on it. All relationship require some boundaries. Jamie, this is not completely crazy. I agree, that yes, married people can sometimes have lunc with the opposite sex. But it should be open and transparent. And understand something, just because something works for you, doesn’t mean it works for everybody else. Glad you don’t have a problem with what your husband does. I’m sure he’s a swell, honest and open guy. But in reality, things have happened because of an “everything is okay” policy in marriage. What would you say if your husband had lunch twice a week alone with the same woman who was attractive and single. Would you mind then? What if it were dinner with a single attractive woman, a dinner that included wine in a romantic restaurant. I guess that wouldn’t matter either. Believe it or not, your husband is not incapable of finding another woman atrractive and acting on it. All relationship require some boundaries.

]]> By: Lacy http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-3724 Lacy Wed, 14 Sep 2011 21:36:27 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-3724 My boss calls and asks my husband permission to take me to lunch maybe twice a year. My husband says okay to avoid looking bad, but then he let's me know that he is very uncomfortable with it. Then he says go ahead and do what you want but I am not going to handle it well. It's awkward for us. Neither my boss nor I see anything inherently wrong with going to lunch occasionally, in a public place. But I also want to be sensitive to my husband. I end up feeling controlled and not trusted. My boss calls and asks my husband permission to take me to lunch maybe twice a year. My husband says okay to avoid looking bad, but then he let’s me know that he is very uncomfortable with it. Then he says go ahead and do what you want but I am not going to handle it well. It’s awkward for us.

Neither my boss nor I see anything inherently wrong with going to lunch occasionally, in a public place. But I also want to be sensitive to my husband. I end up feeling controlled and not trusted.

]]> By: runner http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-3544 runner Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:56:24 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-3544 Going out with friends of the opposite sex is okay as long as it is not doen in secret- if so that means the person doing this is uncomfortable with discussing it with their spouse because they either think their spouse will react badly or they have an attraction for the other person and feel guilty and cannot discuss it. Going out with friends of the opposite sex is okay as long as it is not doen in secret- if so that means the person doing this is uncomfortable with discussing it with their spouse because they either think their spouse will react badly or they have an attraction for the other person and feel guilty and cannot discuss it.

]]> By: runner http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-3543 runner Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:53:41 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-3543 This one's for Jenna- The greatest lies are told in silence. If you start to find things he is doing that make you feel uncomfortable- go with your instincts there is a reason you feel that way. Confront him and discuss how you feel or it will just get worse. This one’s for Jenna- The greatest lies are told in silence. If you start to find things he is doing that make you feel uncomfortable- go with your instincts there is a reason you feel that way. Confront him and discuss how you feel or it will just get worse.

]]> By: jamie http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-3227 jamie Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:34:47 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-3227 I think this is just crazy.....including your comments Cathain. My husband has to go out to lunch/dinner/after work social events frequently with co-worker, vendors & clients. He brings a spare suit to work because this is part of his business and his boss usually notifies him about half an hour before he is required to attend. He goes out frequently and cannot tell me until after he comes home. He works for a 9 billion dollar fortune 500 company and he is expected to take part in these events. We have a very loving and stable relationship with good communication. I would never dream of questioning him of his dealings at work. Work is stressful enough without the added strain at home. People, seriously life is too short enjoy the time you have on this earth with the people you love now. I think this is just crazy…..including your comments Cathain. My husband has to go out to lunch/dinner/after work social events frequently with co-worker, vendors & clients. He brings a spare suit to work because this is part of his business and his boss usually notifies him about half an hour before he is required to attend. He goes out frequently and cannot tell me until after he comes home. He works for a 9 billion dollar fortune 500 company and he is expected to take part in these events. We have a very loving and stable relationship with good communication. I would never dream of questioning him of his dealings at work. Work is stressful enough without the added strain at home. People, seriously life is too short enjoy the time you have on this earth with the people you love now.

]]> By: Cathain http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-2956 Cathain Sat, 21 Mar 2009 09:15:43 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-2956 I'm answering mostly on a working relationship basis . . . Even a marriage counselor will advise married couples to not develop friendships at work with someone of the opposite sex. There is really no reason one MUST go to lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex. If there is a time when it happens to be a MUST -- alcohol should never be involved, and I believe the spouse should be told prior to the lunch/dinner. If it isn't a secret, there shouldn't be a problem. Again, even a marriage counselor will say --something that starts totally platonic and innocent has the potential to turn into something more. If one person isn't thinking something, the other person usually is. Creating relationships with the opposite sex, especially at work is unwise. You can have a great relationship with your spouse and it can still make them uncomfortable. Especially if kept secret. Be open with your spouse. If open, they will normally not feel threatened by it. I’m answering mostly on a working relationship basis . . .

Even a marriage counselor will advise married couples to not develop friendships at work with someone of the opposite sex. There is really no reason one MUST go to lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex. If there is a time when it happens to be a MUST — alcohol should never be involved, and I believe the spouse should be told prior to the lunch/dinner. If it isn’t a secret, there shouldn’t be a problem.

Again, even a marriage counselor will say –something that starts totally platonic and innocent has the potential to turn into something more. If one person isn’t thinking something, the other person usually is.

Creating relationships with the opposite sex, especially at work is unwise. You can have a great relationship with your spouse and it can still make them uncomfortable. Especially if kept secret. Be open with your spouse. If open, they will normally not feel threatened by it.

]]> By: Dameon http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-2802 Dameon Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:52:22 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-2802 Ya'll are paranoid. If you have a good relationship with your spouse, there is no reason a person cannot have lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex. Owens, you're obviously the jealous type, and your wife feels she can't be truthful with you because of your reaction to a innocent situation. Therefore, you do have something to worry about because you *DON'T* have a good relationship with your spouse. My advise to you: Drop it. Leave it alone and stop being suspicious about everything. Stop confronting your wife about every little half truth or conflicting information she gives you. And by the way, 15 minutes in the office with your manager is *NOTHING*! It's called "management". Ya’ll are paranoid.

If you have a good relationship with your spouse, there is no reason a person cannot have lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex.

Owens, you’re obviously the jealous type, and your wife feels she can’t be truthful with you because of your reaction to a innocent situation. Therefore, you do have something to worry about because you *DON’T* have a good relationship with your spouse.

My advise to you: Drop it. Leave it alone and stop being suspicious about everything. Stop confronting your wife about every little half truth or conflicting information she gives you.

And by the way, 15 minutes in the office with your manager is *NOTHING*! It’s called “management”.

]]> By: owens http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-2798 owens Sat, 15 Nov 2008 03:39:44 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-2798 I found out my wife had driven my truck to lunch, when I got in passenger seat it was all the way back, I question her about it and got a response of she had to drive for lunch and had a guy in truck, but she wouldn't give name--I then called her on business trip, was told that she was getting in taxi would call me later, I tried to call several times, then she called, I asked were she had been, was told that she had really been with a male co-worker that's gay-I asked why she felt that I would have problem with that, she didn't know Another problem, sent wife a recorded message, she left it on while male co-worker in office, my wife was discussing work and not being able to sleep due to stress on job, not much said but I think its weird that a guy would spend that long in managers office (my wife is a manger), but man stayed for at least 15mins then tape ran out Question--am I being to nosy, or do I have a right to ask for answers or names PS--after years of this I asked for a name of guy she had lunch with, she still couldn't remember then she said a guys name from work I know from her work and told me a name and I have met him (she said that just to stop me from saying anymore, then 2 weeks ago on business trip she didn't call me one nite, the next afternoon she called and was back in town, I didn't ask her about it, but that weekend I asked were she ate and she told me Mexican, I later confronted he again after bring up the no called, she told me ate at steak place, I told her that she told me Mexican, I then proceeded to tell her what she had told me, she said that she ate Mexican, that nite and steak the nite before and would get me expense report am I crazy or what, she has never deceived me that I am aware of in 23 years so I want to trust her Please Help I found out my wife had driven my truck to lunch, when I got in passenger seat it was all the way back, I question her about it and got a response of she had to drive for lunch and had a guy in truck, but she wouldn’t give name–I then called her on business trip, was told that she was getting in taxi would call me later, I tried to call several times, then she called, I asked were she had been, was told that she had really been with a male co-worker that’s gay-I asked why she felt that I would have problem with that, she didn’t know
Another problem, sent wife a recorded message, she left it on while male co-worker in office, my wife was discussing work and not being able to sleep due to stress on job, not much said but I think its weird that a guy would spend that long in managers office (my wife is a manger), but man stayed for at least 15mins then tape ran out
Question–am I being to nosy, or do I have a right to ask for answers or names
PS–after years of this I asked for a name of guy she had lunch with, she still couldn’t remember then she said a guys name from work I know from her work and told me a name and I have met him (she said that just to stop me from saying anymore, then 2 weeks ago on business trip she didn’t call me one nite, the next afternoon she called and was back in town, I didn’t ask her about it, but that weekend I asked were she ate and she told me Mexican, I later confronted he again after bring up the no called, she told me ate at steak place, I told her that she told me Mexican, I then proceeded to tell her what she had told me, she said that she ate Mexican, that nite and steak the nite before and would get me expense report
am I crazy or what, she has never deceived me that I am aware of in 23 years so I want to trust her
Please Help

]]> By: Lost in ATL http://www.wifeadvice.com/2008/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-2720 Lost in ATL Tue, 23 Sep 2008 13:35:03 +0000 http://www.wifeadvice.com/2005/04/can-married-people-go-out-to-eat-with-members-of-opposite-sex/#comment-2720 My wife goes out from time to time for lunch with some people she works with. Usually a mixture of men and women. On occasion it may be just men or sometimes just a single man or single woman. While I am generally comfortable with the group going to lunch when its just her and this one guy I don't like it. She has never given me any reason to think she would or has cheated on me but in the back of my mind I always wonder. This one guy is divorced and seems to be always on the prowl. Like it or not it is causing tension in our marriage. I don't want to tell her she can't have lunch with him anymore but is their friendship worth harming our marriage? My wife goes out from time to time for lunch with some people she works with. Usually a mixture of men and women. On occasion it may be just men or sometimes just a single man or single woman. While I am generally comfortable with the group going to lunch when its just her and this one guy I don’t like it. She has never given me any reason to think she would or has cheated on me but in the back of my mind I always wonder. This one guy is divorced and seems to be always on the prowl. Like it or not it is causing tension in our marriage. I don’t want to tell her she can’t have lunch with him anymore but is their friendship worth harming our marriage?

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