Comments on: Marriage Advice: Getting a Husband To Do Man-Work Around The House

By: Dameon

Dameon — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:36:49 +0000

I’m wondering if any of you have ever trained a dog. Dog’s perform for rewards. The trick is to find out what the dog likes, and when he does good, reward him for it. After a few rewards for good behavior, the dog will be eager to please.

A good plate of warm cookies or brownies might do the trick for some men. But a more, shall we say, post completion physical activity, might be a better motivator for others.

By: Tibbycz

Tibbycz — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 04:55:51 +0000

omg.. good work, brother

By: Slack

Slack — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:32:51 +0000

LMAO! Ok, I just had to pipe up and offer some pearls of wisdom. Since I know everything, I thought I should chip in and educate the masses. (I’m joking, shut up.)

I think you guys are a bit off on this one. First of all, I think it’s all about priorities. Husbands and Wives have different priority lists. My wife is a neurotic clean freak, and I’m… not… well, I am, but not in the same things she is (my computer hardrive is immaculate).

I think the key is communicating about priorities. For instance, my wife asked me to change a light bulb outside like this, “Babe, can you change that light bulb when you get a chance?” A reasonable request. But, guess what, it went to the bottom of my list. I didn’t do it until nagged…

Another time, she asked me to hang an undercabinet radio thing like this, “OMG! I’m so excited to get this radio! Can you get it set up for me? It’s going to make things so much more comfortable for me! blah blah blah”. Guess what… That went to the top of my list.

I’m willing to bet that the light bulb and the radio were fairly close to the same position on her priority list, but I REALIZED the importance of the radio…

Both of us just assume that priorities are universal… Like keeping your son alive. We both prioritize that high. I think that’s where the breakdown is… Kinda like why she won’t let me convert her laptop to LINUX!!! I mean… !

By: Richard D. Worth

Richard D. Worth — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:31:20 +0000

Thanks to the donkey, I arrived home from work last night greeted with homemade chocolate chip cookies and a shelf/table all ready to be hung. My wife still can’t get over the fact that she listened to the donkey. But it worked.

By: LiteMike

LiteMike — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 01:24:03 +0000

I am surprised that so many wives are agreeing with this. Shouldn’t a husband be able to figure this out? I am sure that most men can figure out how to connect the most complex video game system yet they can’t hang a shelf. Believe me, I am not complaining about a nice brownie to begin the project but I am surprised

By: Sarah Marie

Sarah Marie — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 23:20:24 +0000

Great post. I’m glad to see that my husb isn’t the only one who needs help getting started with things. He’s actually great with tool projects, but when it comes to, oh, I don’t know, MAKING HIMSELF A SANDWICH WHEN I’M NOT HOME he just loses it. I have to call him and walk him through it step-by-step on the phone, and even then he’ll usually say, “can I just microwave I pizza from the freezer?” or “I’ll wait until you get home… in five hours…” Sometimes I ask him to help with dishes or tidying, but the endless questions – “where does this go?” “what about this?” “what sponge should I be using?” “what kind of soap?” “is the water temperature right?” (Okay, I’m exaggerating) – make me end up taking over. Still, I love working side-by-side with him, and I’m content knowing we’re both pulling our share of the weight – just in different ways.

By: Jane

Jane — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:04:30 +0000

I don’t ever ask my husband to do things like that. He almost always gets extremely frustrated, and I can’t stand it when he gets angry. I end up doing it myself. Occasionally, when all I need is brute strength I might ask for his assistance. If something is too complicated for me to do, I either hire someone or forget about it!

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:59:21 +0000

I am more handy than my DH. So I end up just doing everything myself. I give him the opportunity, but if it isn’t done in a reasonable time frame, I will do it. I grew up with a dad that showed me how to do everything. I can lay a floor and put up drywall just as well as a man!

Dh is a much better cook than I am so he cooks a few times a week. We each have our area’s that we excel in and there is nothing wrong with doing things yourself. You might actually find out you like it!

By: John

John — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:52:10 +0000

Sometimes the job’s so difficult, the last cleanup part kills your motivation. I like to watch good shows like New Yankee Workshop and Holmes on Homes to remember that enjoying the finished product is the whole point.

By: wifelikeme

wifelikeme — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:18:34 +0000

They might have wooed you with their manliness when you were dating, but don’t let it fool you…some guys (hey Donkey) just aren’t “tool guys”. Testosterone does not automatically make you good at putting up shelves. What makes a wife think that the husband will autmoatically be the better shelf-putter-upper?

Its one of those manly mysteries that husbands like to perpetuate…putting up shelves, mowing the lawn, grilling (how is it that a man who avoids so much as reheating food in the kitchen suddenly is a chef outdoors??) are so much more complicated and require special skills. We think these are hard jobs because they lead us to believe it. Personally, I think they are saving the easy jobs for themselves.

I suggest that the wife do just what the donkey says…do the research, gather the tools, and get the job started. She might just figure out that she is GOOD at using a level and a drill! Instead of asking hubby to put up shelves, ask him to fix dinner and bathe the kids while *she* is putting up the shelves herself, the right way. While he’s at it, he might find out he likes cooking or is actually better at it than the wife.