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Several readers have asked me to develop the Housewife Job Description. Since I am in HR, I have written many job descriptions in my life, but never for a housewife. As you may recall, I have developed a Housewife Performance Appraisal, and as soon as I dig it up, I’ll publish it. But today I would like to show you my rough draft of the Housewife Job Description. I am open to suggestions, so feel free to provide feedback.

There are essentially 2 main parts of the job description: the description and the qualifications. Usually there is a general paragraph describing the job and then a more defined description. I have decided to use this format. Here is my rough draft:

Job Title: Housewife

Description
The housewife is responsible for all household and childcare duties. Additionally, the housewife is responsible for ensuring that harmony exists between all individuals living in the home. Love, care, and kindness are all attributes that must be exhibited by the housewife. Caring for the husband is crucial, and it is expected that the housewife will provide for his emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. A housewife should also maintain personal hygiene and take care of her physical body through proper eating and regular exercise. While there is not a strict dress code, it is expected that between the hours of 7 am and 10 pm, the housewife will have makeup applied and will not be wearing pajamas or other elastic clothing. The housewife is expected to cry no more than 1 time per month, for a maximum of 5 minutes.

Duties
Household:

• Sweeping/mopping - at least once per day
• Dusting - at least twice per week
• Vacuuming - at least once per week
• Straightening up - at least once per day, preferably before 5pm
• Doing the dishes - as often as needed so that dishes do not extend over the corners of the sink
• Scrubbing bathrooms - at least once every two weeks or weekly if any potty-trained children reside in the home
• Doing the laundry - as often as necessary so that clean socks and underwear can easily be located
• Other duties as assigned

Childcare:

• Feeding - 3 well balanced meals each day with 1-2 healthy snacks
• Bathing - at least 3 baths per week including full body lotion application when needed
• Dressing/Grooming - children will be dressed by 8am with fresh, clean clothes. Haircuts must be provided at least every 6 weeks once the child is 18 months old. Fingernails and toenails must be trimmed so that no more than 3mm of nail be exposed past the end of the digit.
• Emotional Caring - holding each child for at least 20 minutes per day. Saying “I love you to each child at least 3 times a day”
• Developmental - reading to each child for at least 20 minutes per day

Qualifications/Requirements:

• Must have a high threshold for pain and a high tolerance for nagging, bothering, begging, crying, and loud noises
• Must be willing and able to stand for extensive periods of time, to crawl on the floor, to enter tight and cramped spaces, and to climb chairs and tables to obtain objects in difficult to reach places
• Must be willing and able to operate on 4-6 hours of sleep
• Should be able to handle multiple difficult situations at once
• Should be well versed on the phone and in writing
• Must possess negotiation skills to handle requests from both children and adults
• Can calmly handle stressful situations without yelling, throwing, hitting, storming out of rooms, or slamming doors - preferably

Anything else I’m missing?