The Housewife Job Description
Several readers have asked me to develop the Housewife Job Description. Since I am in HR, I have written many job descriptions in my life, but never for a housewife. As you may recall, I have developed a Housewife Performance Appraisal, and as soon as I dig it up, I’ll publish it. But today I would like to show you my rough draft of the Housewife Job Description. I am open to suggestions, so feel free to provide feedback.
There are essentially 2 main parts of the job description: the description and the qualifications. Usually there is a general paragraph describing the job and then a more defined description. I have decided to use this format. Here is my rough draft:
Job Title: Housewife
Description
The housewife is responsible for all household and childcare duties. Additionally, the housewife is responsible for ensuring that harmony exists between all individuals living in the home. Love, care, and kindness are all attributes that must be exhibited by the housewife. Caring for the husband is crucial, and it is expected that the housewife will provide for his emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. A housewife should also maintain personal hygiene and take care of her physical body through proper eating and regular exercise. While there is not a strict dress code, it is expected that between the hours of 7 am and 10 pm, the housewife will have makeup applied and will not be wearing pajamas or other elastic clothing. The housewife is expected to cry no more than 1 time per month, for a maximum of 5 minutes.
Duties
Household:
- Sweeping/mopping – at least once per day
- Dusting – at least twice per week
- Vacuuming – at least once per week
- Straightening up – at least once per day, preferably before 5pm
- Doing the dishes – as often as needed so that dishes do not extend over the corners of the sink
- Scrubbing bathrooms – at least once every two weeks or weekly if any potty-trained children reside in the home
- Doing the laundry – as often as necessary so that clean socks and underwear can easily be located
- Other duties as assigned
Childcare:
- Feeding – 3 well balanced meals each day with 1-2 healthy snacks
- Bathing – at least 3 baths per week including full body lotion application when needed
- Dressing/Grooming – children will be dressed by 8am with fresh, clean clothes. Haircuts must be provided at least every 6 weeks once the child is 18 months old. Fingernails and toenails must be trimmed so that no more than 3mm of nail be exposed past the end of the digit.
- Emotional Caring – holding each child for at least 20 minutes per day. Saying “I love you to each child at least 3 times a day”
- Developmental – reading to each child for at least 20 minutes per day
Qualifications/Requirements:
- Must have a high threshold for pain and a high tolerance for nagging, bothering, begging, crying, and loud noises
- Must be willing and able to stand for extensive periods of time, to crawl on the floor, to enter tight and cramped spaces, and to climb chairs and tables to obtain objects in difficult to reach places
- Must be willing and able to operate on 4-6 hours of sleep
- Should be able to handle multiple difficult situations at once
- Should be well versed on the phone and in writing
- Must possess negotiation skills to handle requests from both children and adults
- Can calmly handle stressful situations without yelling, throwing, hitting, storming out of rooms, or slamming doors – preferably
Anything else I’m missing?
27 Responses to “The Housewife Job Description”
Um, should I be worried here–are you accepting new applicants for this position? I did notice that you failed to include a section describing any compensation or benefits…
By The Wife on Feb 1, 2008
Well, first off, buddy, it’s not been “housewife” for a long, long time. It’s HOMEMAKER.
By Anonymous on Feb 1, 2008
Something about handling money?
By Anonymous on Feb 1, 2008
the compensation is the reward of doing the job- right DR. D
By phillyz on Feb 1, 2008
make-up between 7 am and 10 pm? Puh-lease!
Also… shouldn’t bedroom activities be somewhere in the description?
By <3 April J. on Feb 1, 2008
What about being on call 24 HOURS A DAY and the all important salary amount – 0$?
By Amanda on Feb 2, 2008
I think there are a few categories missing here. Taking care of the husband and intimacy to name a few.good start though
By Doc on Feb 3, 2008
Basic hygiene requires cleaning the bathroom more than every other week, regardless of children. I’d change your requirement to a full clean once a week and a daily wipe-down.
Your wife probably does this anyway and you just don’t notice.
By Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) on Feb 3, 2008
In all fairness, if so much is being demanded of the homemaker the time allotted for crying should be extended to once every other week and as needed when “flow’s in town”
By Karen Rich on Feb 4, 2008
Women these days shouldn’t be subjected to such statistical analysis! I would like to see a man even ATTEMPT to do what women do. I think the reason the donkey is so arrogant is because he can’t do the “job” half…no 1/4 as good a woman could. AND HE KNOWS IT
By Lucy on Feb 6, 2008
After reading the Performance Appraisal, all I can say is, “This is a joke, right?”
By Tonya on Feb 9, 2008
Tonya: Read on–you will quickly find that The Donkey should not be taken seriously at all. Enjoy!
By The Wife on Feb 9, 2008
1) I second april j….
2) you haven’t mentioned yard work
3) keeping the household schedule?
3a) party planning and all entertaining.
3b) (here is where you could slip in who calls the sitter)
3c) scheduling all doctor, dentist, etc. appts
4) selection and purchase of all gifts intended to be from family
5) educational liason (signs all permission slips, does the P-T conferences, field trip advisor)
6) inventory, selection and purchase of all household supplies (budget to be provided)
Did I miss the sections on nursing, sewing, costume design,chauffer, art appreciation, song leader, historian, I could go on…
did you give this any thought before you wrote it?
By Connie Carpenter Macko on Feb 10, 2008
Man, after being in HR I can’t BELIEVE you left out the Salary and Benefits! I mean, I realize there are none, (other than the opportunity to great her man at home after his “hard day” at work and have him complain about being tired and seem unwilling to spend time with the children or do the dishes) but at least it needs to be mentioned that there won’t be any, other than a sense of “fulfillment” and lots of quality time with other housewifes at playgroups.
By Elizabeth on Feb 18, 2008
HA HA – I loved it – My fiance asked what I expected of her after marriage and I sent this to her – HA HA HA….
By Ali on Feb 25, 2008
Lucy’s comment is right on!!!
By tired on Feb 27, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen…
I need to forward this to my wife… you want to know what she does!
Fold Clothes, Kiss Kids.
X
By X on May 14, 2008
I have recently started looking for a job after 5 years out of the workforce. Here are some of the responses I have been getting …
1) You haven’t been working for 5 years
2) Your experience are not updated
3) Wow! Lucky you! Staying home!!
By Tricia on Sep 29, 2008
This is not only amusing, but accurate. Women do have a lot of work to do at home, and have an income (for only homemaking) of $0. Please don’t forget (as my wife often needs to be reminded of) that your husband also has a job with duties that they may not be too fond of, and if he were to say that he is the only one making money, an argument would start. By that logic, you can’t say you have zero income if you look at half of his income as yours. I have taken care of the house when my wife was working, and kept it extremely clean, had dinner ready, wasn’t wearing pajamas ever, fixed her car, did all of the outdoor maintenance such as mowing, trimming the grass and shoveling in the winter. I understand where she is coming from that she is busy and needs to be appreciated, but now that she is at home and I work full time, I realize she has the easier of the 2 jobs. The kids are now in school, so she isn’t babysitting all the time, I cook dinner about 25% of the time, and still do all of the outdoor chores as well as acting mechanic for her car – not to mention the lawnmower, trimmer, and anything else that breaks. I don’t mind having the harder of the 2 jobs since she appreciates it. My buddies wife though, thinks that she is so hard done by and never gets out of her pajamas, doesn’t clean well, doesn’t cook well, doesn’t excercise, and still wants the same treatment that the women here (and my wife) expect and deserve. That is where most men get annoyed – by the lazy ones trying to group themselves in with the hardworking housewives.
By Greg on Jan 23, 2009
I found this site on a whim.. and have been very entertained by it. While stifling my distaste at the rigidity of the the “Wife’s Duties”, I remind myself that it’s exactly the info I asked for (googled).
I’m so proud of my generation, in particular the women. We have broken through social barriers,both in our homes and the world, without losing the compassion and insight that are inhenant in our gender. But perhaps, most importantly, what we’ve kept through it all is our sense of humour…ensuring that there will be yet another generation of….,HUSBANDS!!
By Nita on Mar 15, 2010
This is awesome…to the women complaining here, get a clue. It even teaches this in the Bible, this is what woman was made for. Women’s lib has ruined traditional life for women. Now there is a new breed of man who actually expects a woman to do all this PLUS hold an outside of the home job. Shame on you all who thought you were too good to assume the role God intended for you!
By Jessica on Apr 10, 2010
First of all, my husband wipes his own butt (and prefers it that way) — LOL! Second of all, I am NOT married to the “house” … so the term is not “housewife” … it is homemaker. As a homemaker, I recently painted the entire exterior of our house as my husband works and we like to save money by not hiring a painter. Also, I have spent a lot of time at ARD meetings. (You probably don’t know what an ARD meeting is, right)? Furthermore, I have been an avid advocate for my child who happens to have some learning disabilities. They said that she would never go to college and she only lacks a few credits for her degree (and she will be finished very soon). Additionally, I have been a tutor for her as I have the intelligence and the common sense to understand her learning style. So …. perhaps you think you are cute or something … but, actually, your ignorance is showing. You really need to write about something that you actually know about!
By Lynn on Apr 25, 2010
P.S. I have nothing against women who work outside the home, but I do resent it when people somehow believe that I am obligated to babysit and chauffer their children because I happen to stay at home …. or they somehow think that I am less than intelligent and/or have no education. They are WRONG! The decision for me to stay at home has nothing to do with them, and, frankly, is none of their business. My husband and I made the decision that I should stay at home after we found out that our daughter was having learning difficulties. We felt that I could help give her the foundation that she needed to succeed. I have been on both sides of the fence …….. in that, I was a “working” (meaning I worked outside the home for a paycheck) and a homemaker (meaning I work, but do not receive a paycheck). A homemaker’s job is 24/7.
By Lynn on Apr 25, 2010
Met to say, “… I was a “working” woman ….”
By Lynn on Apr 25, 2010
Your forgot to mention shopping, and not fun shopping, but the kind that requires getting the food on the table and toilet paper and cleaning supplies a socks and underwear and shoes when needed etc. etc. etc. Not to forget budgeting because you have to stretch one pay check, and sometimes that means shopping at three or four different stores to get the most for your money. Worst job but most rewarding in the long run I get to see my kids grow up.
By marcy on May 19, 2010
Wow! I thoroughly enjoyed the entire job description and the comments posted as well. Its a good effort by the Donkey. Iam a proud mother of a 3 year old daughter and can very well relate to this, as my current status is homemaker with 4 years industry exp.And it stops there till I start back work! This write-up reminds me how good/bad a homemaker Iam.
Donkey, may be you could also add a ‘quality’ in the ‘requirements’ section – Candidate should be able to resist temptation of shopping/going for walk/gym/outdoor activities/internet browsing etc in times of crisis(like when kids are sleeping/not willing to co-operate)
By NehaGoel on Jun 25, 2010