Comments on: Should Husbands and Wives Share Money or Keep Separate Bank Accounts?

By: happygal

happygal — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:53:52 +0000

After reading this boy am I glad, however unpleasant it may be at the moment, that I am getting a DIVORCE! I am in control of my own finances now, and remember the horrible feelings of powerlesness and the financial control he had over me before. Whoopee!!
Get out girls, its better than you think!!!!

By: confused

confused — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 04:57:30 +0000

I recently found out that I am pregnant. My husband and I are married for almost one year. Prior to the marriage, we did not discuss in detail about his finance. I thought he was in great shape given the fact that he’s got a high paid salary job, he’s own a house and I thought the only debt he had to pay off is his student loan and the mortgage. Soon after I signed the marriage licence, I found out that he owed $90,000 dollar to his folks. I used this money to place a down payment for his house (how irresponsible?). Now, we are married. We do not share bank accounts, and he will not give me access to his bank account nor his financial information. His money goes to pay his debt, so, he has no savings.

I am pregnant, and we have a child coming. Thus far, he’s incapable of providing for the baby. I have a high paid salary that I could support myself and the baby. BUt,it’s something that I have been asking myself. If I have gotten myself into a mess because I am too gullible? Aside from the fact that we shared a marriage licence and an incoming child, what else do I actually share with this man?

By: Lost beyond words

Lost beyond words — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:53:59 +0000

I have only been married for 5 years, my husband i have found is very controling, we use to have an account with both of our names on it, now we only have one and it has his name on it only, I went and started internet banking just to pay our car payment and a storage bill we have, well he found out and now says I have been stealing money from him and he is going to press charges on me for fraud, can he do this, I mean we are married and just because my name is not on the account does not mean I cant pay bills out of it, the money was use only for bills and nothing more !!!

By: Ekaerina

Ekaerina — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:18:25 +0000

We have been married for over 28 years and my husband keeps everything secret from me. We have four children together. Only recently he told me how much he is earning. I have a part time job now and the money I earn is in my account because he didn’t wanted me to put his name on it.
My name is not on any of the accounts he has, and our house is only in his name.
10 years ago we had a house in our both names, we sold it and he put the profit in his account!
He pays the bills but I am totally excluded from everything regarding money because he said it’s his money because he pays the bills, he earns the money.
I have been complaining about this to him, but he will not do anything about it.
I fill very upset and don’t feel we are really married.
Really want to pack my bags and go, only haven’t got a place to go, because I’ve spent all this years looking after our children and don’t have anything….

By: anon

anon — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:32:12 +0000

M husband and lived together for over 10 years have 3 kids just got married legally one year ago. I’m a stay at home mom. I manage all of the bills however he will not let me know what in his checking account, savings account he won’t even give me his pin #. I’m so upset i can better manage the bills if he would just let me know what’s in the accounts. Im frustrated, upset and tired of arguing about it– I really don’t know what to do.

By: not a live in girlfriend

not a live in girlfriend — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:54:51 +0000

I was so happy to read that we all go through similar things. I was also saddend to find the control that people have over other people with money. Such as myself. My husband was incarcerated and we were married yes in there because we loved each other. For 6 years i struggleed went through hell and back to be with him. He comes back and couldn’t even spend a dime on me. I realieze its from being so selfish conditioned in there that everything is his. On the same note he led me to believe he would take care of me n b there for me. He is very responsible and saves. We split everything 50/50. I want to combine. He doesn’t want to combine because he makes it like i will spend it all. Now I AM THE ONE that needs help. I just lost my job and have no access to any $ or even his. He makes a big deal if I ask him for $20 for gas. I should not have to feel ashamed and beg for things I need right now. I mean after all the $ I spent, he cant even offer. We fight all the time cause he wants to buy things for himself and hes not ready. WELL I AM! My solution thanks to all of you is one joint account – no purchases more than $100 w/ dissusion and 2 seperate – so that we can do what we want with it.PLEASE HELP~!

By: julie2

julie2 — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:29:24 +0000

My husband keeps all our finances completely secret and all our accounts are seperate, he is the bread earner since I left work 3 yrs ago. He has never shared with me any of our finances and doesnt let me see what is spent, what is coming in, or where we stand financially? I have repeatedly told him that this makes me uncomfortable and that I would like to be involved in our finances, he spends like crazy and I am worried that if something were to happen to him I would have no idea what to do to simply survive?! We have been married almost 10 yrs and I have a feeling this is going to lead to a not so happy ending.
Is there some advice out there?

By: siri

siri — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:21:47 +0000

my hubby never shares any of the finances with me. all my salary goes to or joint account and when i ask him about showing the details all he does was turning around the matter and start accusing me and my parents saying they are responsible and i am always suspicious about him . no matter how i try to talk to him be it nice or harsh i was not able to extract any details from him. he simply says hes saving money to buy a house and i got to respect and confide in him.
i called the bank people to find out about our joint account and realise he has been transferring all of the amount into his personel account every month. i tried so much to fight back but nothing seems to really get to him. cant understand what to do really. he is settled citizen with his family here and im alone here.for now everything is going on ok. i live in a different state from him and doing job here. cant understand what to do. when he realised i called to the bank he immediately called my employer and spoke very nicely to him and he says hes doing all this for my future and kids only.
im at a loss to understand what to do

By: Donna

Donna — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:10:13 +0000

My husband is terrible with money. We have never had a joint account and never will. He uses his account as a clearing house to cash his paychecks. He gives me his contribution to the household bills and spend every penny of the rest!

I used to put my cash on the kitchen counter by my keys when I’d get home. He started asking me for it, saying he needed gas money! Now he never sees me with cash!

By: Confuse

Confuse — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:36:29 +0000

My husband and I never discussed about money matters before we got married. When I was single I’ve always have a bank account on my own. Since I got married we only have 1 account and that’s my husbands account on his name on it. So, all my salaries goes to his account and I have no bank account at all. I do have 2nd card w/c I can access his account. I tried many times to ask him if I can open a separate bank account ( for security reasons ) and we split the expenses we have but everytime i open this discussion it will always end up in a huge argument and sometimes my husband threatens to divorce me… please help what to do on this case..i’m just afraid that if one day things will not work out for the 2 of us…i’ll be left with nothing and no access to the money that i’ve sent to his account including my salary aswell.