Comments on: Should Husbands and Wives Share Money or Keep Separate Bank Accounts?

By: Leslie

Leslie — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:18:56 +0000

I was just married a few months ago and my husband insists on keeping his own personal account. It makes me very uncomfortable as he has lied to me in the past about where he is and who he is with (not cheating just hanging out with party animals that get trashed to the point of going to jail). Also my husband is terrible with money. He blew $16,000 last year and $12,000 the year before with literally nothing to show for it. I’m wondering where the money goes so just another reason to get a joint account. I feel we rushed into this marriage and I’m trying to make it work but is he if he feels he is entitled to his own?

By: an onomous

an onomous — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 17:01:24 +0000

Husband is sole wage earner, £50k salary. Keeps all of it and I have no access to his money. Gives me £35.00 spending money a week. Makes me feel kie a kid getting pocket money. But what can I do? He hates sharing his money.

By: Frustrated

Frustrated — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 14:12:42 +0000

While I used to think seperate accounts were the way to go- I’m not so sure anymore of what to do. He is HORRIBLE with money, but as a stay at home mom- who does odd jobs now and again for extra money- I don’t have much income. However he is so bad with his money, that he blows through it, and then when bills or expenses for the kids come up, I’m left tying to scrounge up the money from what little I get. It’s driven a HUGE wedge in our relationship. I can transfer him money and out gas in his car etc… but the minute I “borrow” or use his card for 10 bucks at the dollar store or whatever, he is all over my case that I need to pay him back because he is broke.

By: JJ

JJ — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 01:26:12 +0000

This is the situation I’m in right now. My wife and I have been married 7 years. I am a fanatic saver and she spends every penny she earns. We have SEPARATE accounts. We tried the joint account thing when we first got married and she wasn’t working. It would have been fine if she didn’t spend the money I designated for bills without telling me. That was the last time she had access to my accounts. She is only responsible for her car loan and somehow still needs help paying that every month. She has a part time job, but makes more than enough to cover her car payment. I control the finances, pay the bills, bought the house in my name only. There’s a reason, she has alot of outstanding debt and bad credit due to: SHE SPENDS EVERY PENNY SHE CAN! This isn’t the 1950′s anymore and you don’t need to have joint accounts if your spouse isn’t of the same financial mindset. If she wanted to save and invest like I do, it might be a different story. Alas, we don’t live in what should be, this is the real world.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 11:07:28 +0000

Oh I feel so fed up. I have been married for 29 years, have four grown children and two grandchildren. I always wanted children so I was a young mum and I stayed home and bought up our children. I then went to college and got myself a couple of diplomas and took myself off to work for the first time properly at the age of 35. I have never had any say in my husband’s money. He saves and saves and I do not have a clue how much he has, he says it’s our future. Well since I started working I’ve been earning my own money and I’m not very good with it. Perhaps it’s because I feel deprived over the past 17 years or so. I have suggested we get joint accounts so that I can feel more a couple but he’s having none of it. I’m now at the stage of thinking enough is really enough and maybe going it alone would be an option. He makes me feel like a child and I don’t want to carry on like this.

By: maria

maria — Sun, 29 May 2011 01:38:18 +0000

i have my own current account that he does`nt know,and another one he knows,and the one that our joint he said but its on he`s name.and he has another one that using for income.my own account that he does`nt know is for my benefits, for me and my kid`s future if anything ever happen.i don`t trust that joint thats why i have a secret account.lately i manage our financing,co`z in 3years lost he managed he`s salary got a big lost of money,he does`nt know how to budget,so we don`t have savings for 3 years.last oct,i start to manage it and i start for saving money in our joint account (by he`s name)i don`t want to manage it but that`s the way it goes for the future.having an own account is not that you don`t trust him but it is wiser than nothing.

By: A wiser wife than before

A wiser wife than before — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 13:33:40 +0000

In my first marriage we had completely separate bank accounts, and we split the bills so some came from his, some from mine. The only bad thing was that he made more money than me, and would not adjust the bill paying structure after he got a much better job.

So, I decided in my second marriage that everything should be shared. That way, it would be fair, and we could decide together how much each could spend (either together or on ourselves.)

Long story short, this husband is a spender. and when I say spender, I mean thousands. Always, of course, with good reason. MY (half a mil) INHERITANCE FROM MY FATER, was gone in less than a year. I was hoping to save some for investment, but he convinced me that remodeling our house (that I owned before I met him) was the best investment we could make. Now he says he owns the house as much as me because he has “sweat equity” in it.

And that’s just some of the craziness.

Needless to say, I am greatly in favor of having seperate bank accounts, preferrably secret.
Needless to say

By: JG

JG — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 04:43:29 +0000

Lets not dominate this discussion about controlling behavior of one spouse. That is a subject for another discussion. Please comment on what works financially in a functional marriage. Our marriage has three bank accounts, one for each spouse, on joint. Each spouse has a job. There is a account each for direct deposit. The husband pays all housing and utility costs. Currently we pay auto, clothing and health insurance separately. We are now taking steps to reduce the housing expense by 25% and then the husband will pay the wifes auto and health insurance expenses in addition. Does that sound fair?

By: Pete

Pete — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:01:56 +0000

Great post! Really good insight. It’s always difficult to discuss finances and share money in relationships. Thanks for your advice. I recently stumbled upon this blog like I stumbled upon yours. I think they offer some good points and laughter about the topic: http://burisonthecouch.wordpress.com/2010/09/22/dolla-dolla-bill-yall/

Thanks for the post! I’d like to see more like it.

By: happygal

happygal — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:53:52 +0000

After reading this boy am I glad, however unpleasant it may be at the moment, that I am getting a DIVORCE! I am in control of my own finances now, and remember the horrible feelings of powerlesness and the financial control he had over me before. Whoopee!!
Get out girls, its better than you think!!!!