Thanks to everyone for participating in our First Annual Valentine’s Day Giveaway! We’ve had such a fun time reading your wishlists, poetry, advice, movie recommendations, and Valentine’s Day posts. We hope you all had a great Valentine’s Day.
When we were newlyweds, and our first February rolled around, I remember The Donkey asking me something to the effect of, “So, am I supposed to do something for you for Valentine’s Day or something?” I said that it would probably be a good idea, and he went on to ask me what he should do.
“You’re not supposed to ask me what to do–you’re just supposed to do something.”
“But I don’t know what you want.”
“Well, you’re supposed to figure something out. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation; we’re not supposed to talk about it at all, it’s just supposed to happen, and it’s all supposed to be a surprise.”
We continued to have some version of this conversation every Valentine’s Day (plus birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas) for the next few years. He would bring up the holiday, asking “so, what am I supposed to do for you?” and I would give him a lecture about surprises. After all, I always saw my parents planning little surprises for each other–that’s just how it was supposed to work.
Well, it took a few years of disappointing holidays for me to realize that there was something wrong–not with him, but with my approach to it all. Sure, some husbands have a knack for romance and surprises. Well, my husband doesn’t happen to be very gifted in that area; then why in the world would I not want him to come to me and ask me what I want?! It was such an epiphany–I could actually spend a holiday exactly the way I imagined, get the gift I was hoping for, and even get a little love letter–and all I had to do was answer the simple question, “What do you want?”