Quick Tip: Check Vitals to Verify an Optimal Workout
This is is Exercise Verification Month. The Donkey provides tips on how you can verify that your wife is exercising to her fullest potential.
I imagine my wife and I are not the only ones who have included workout/weight loss goals in our New Year’s Resolutions this year. Several people have sent me emails over the months asking how they can motivate their wives to exercise. This is an interesting topic, however, it was one man’s request that inspired this month’s quick tip list. He asked how he can ensure that his wife is getting a good workout at the gym. They bought her a membership and she works out several times a week, but his wife just doesn’t seem to be improving as fast as he would like.
I can relate with this because my wife attends the gym quite often, but she complains that she doesn’t see results. I have been observing my wife over the past few weeks to see if there is a problem with her workout routine. After several weeks of field analysis, I am ready to present some of my findings. I will offer tips to discover what type of workout your wife might be having.
The Pat On The Back Method.
As I observed my wife, I noticed that some days her face was flush, she was breathing heavily, and her hair looked a bit ratty. On one occasion, I noticed that she had a particularly good cardio workout. After exercising, I walked over to congratulate her and I patted her on the back. I noticed that her shirt was quite damp as if she had perspired quite a bit. A few days later I patted her on the back as we walked out and noticed that her shirt was quite dry. I asked how her workout went, and she said she got kind of lazy. I didn’t mention that I noticed a dry shirt, but I did take a damp-shirt-read for the next few days and was able to determine what type of workout she had based on how wet her shirt was.Besides the wet shirt, check to see some of the things I mentioned earlier: red face, shortness of breath, messy hair. If you are clever, you might also try to check her pulse. You could either give her a congratulatory 10-15 second handshake to check her pulse or maybe you could rest your head on her neck to get a pulse check.
5 Responses to “Quick Tip: Check Vitals to Verify an Optimal Workout”
these are truly brilliant methods, what about some kind of measuring method, like a hug while crouching and then measuring your arms after to see if she is losing inches? I think you might be able to get one of those pedometers that measures distance in steps and slip it on her prior to the workout.
By phillyz on Jan 7, 2008
I hope you’re kidding. If my husband ever tried this with me I’d call him a PIG. That man is like a one-man vacuum for self-esteem. Pray such a image-conscious man like that never has daughters because they’d end up with eating disorders or worse. And the poor wife…I pity the poor woman who marries someone for their supposed “potential” only to be disappointed with her shallow reality.
By *Bibliophile on Jan 7, 2008
i actually like this method. if i suspected that my husband was underhandedly checking to see how hard i worked out, i would work my guts out everytime just to show him. he would also be subject to the same thing!
By cworth on Jan 8, 2008
I think it is ok to check to see how hard your spouse is working out since a gym pass costs a lot of money. I would be happy if my wife were to take the time to see hard I was working out. I don’t know if I would want her getting her sweaty face all over my neck while she tried to check my pulse, but I guess it is an idea.
By Doc on Jan 8, 2008
bibliophile, i love the mr. t reference- i also “pity the fool”. i think a real idea that might be good is to have each other try the other’s workout, this will push both to work harder and not single anyone out.
By phillyz on Jan 10, 2008