Lesson 17: My, What A Lovely Wife You Have
I hate decorating my office at work. Some people have pictures, some have framed diplomas, and others have plants. I hate them all. I’m not sure if this bothers people at work, but occasionally I will come in and find a plant in my office that one of the secretaries had placed in there to liven things up. I usually just ignore the plants until they die. But there was one item placed in my office that I decided to leave in place which ended up getting me into a lot of trouble.
Lesson 17: Don’t leave a framed picture of a woman other than your wife on your desk.
It’s no secret that I have a thing for older women. I would have sped up my wife’s age to 40 when she was 25 and sacrificed 15 years of her youth in return for her to remain 40 until she was biologically 55. I think 40 is the best age for women. Anyway, people at work know about this preference of mine. I remember opening a business magazine and commenting to my coworkers that a woman in one of the ads was pretty.
“Really?” they replied, “Isn’t she pretty old?”
“No way–she’s just right!” I said.
A few weeks later I came into my office and noticed that the picture of the woman from the ad had been framed and put on my desk–yet another attempt by my coworkers to spruce up my office. I decided that I liked the picture and left it on my desk. In fact, it stayed up for over a year. Some people would come in and notice the photo and wonder if it was my wife, but never say much. Others would be so intrigued that they would come right out and ask. I would then explain that it wasn’t actually my wife, at which point the questioner would stare blankly at me or just quickly change the subject. It always got a reaction out of people – especially when my wife and kids came to visit one day.
My wife walked in the room and immediately began questioning me. I tried to explain the story by focusing on the humor of the whole thing, but humor was the last thing on her mind. She had been trying for years to get me to put up photos of our family, but I would always resist.
“Who is this person? Why do your coworkers know what kind of women you like? How long has this been on your desk?” I answered her questions being as vague as possible, but I was in trouble. The next day I received several photos along with frames and was forced to put them in my office. Everyone at work thought it was pretty funny, but me.
My suggestion: Don’t let people know what kind of look you like in a woman, unless of course you are describing your wife. And certainly don’t keep pictures of other women on your desk. I think it sends the wrong message…mainly to your wife.
3 Responses to “Lesson 17: My, What A Lovely Wife You Have”
I have the same problem at work. My desk has nothing on it. I clear it of everyday, so people in the office will put things on my desk at random-pencil cases, file folders, candy boxes, etc. I move them off when ever they get placed on. I haven’t been able to figure out who is doing it.
By P on Jan 23, 2008
donkey you’re a bonehead, P whoever is doing this is either having a lot of fun or needs a beat down- if it’s the latter call me
By phillyz on Jan 24, 2008
LOL. I used to keep a picture of Mongomery Burns (Old guy from the Simpsons) and General Patton on my desk. Mostly as a joke… But it did provide great motivation and was always a good time waiting for someone to notice.
By John on May 25, 2008