Does Your Spouse Need To Know About Previous Relationships?
Here’s a chance for YOU to give the advice.
Question: Are you obligated to discuss your previous relationships with your fiancé before you are married, or is the past the past?
Leave your thoughts in the comments
(Let’s keep comments appropriate. Even if your spouse wanted the details, we certainly don’t.)
7 Responses to “Does Your Spouse Need To Know About Previous Relationships?”
this is up to both people, but it should be brought up and let them both decide. major details that might affect that person should probably be discussed. for example a future spouse should know in advance if their fiancee could potentially be carrying some kind of disease due to past activity. or if it was a relationship that was homosexual or with a married person, these may affect the future spouse’s opinion and desire to marry that person
By phillyz on Jan 28, 2008
I think the fiance should be informed if you’ve had any type of past, and things mentioned in the above comment should definitely be disclosed but as to the rest of it, it’s really up to the other partner.
For example, I let my spouse know before being married and asked if he watned to know but he said he knows who I am now and that’s what matters. And that’s true. You should be judged based on your current actions, not things from the past that you can’t change.
By <3 April J. on Jan 28, 2008
I don’t think anything needs to be discussed, not even potential diseases. most states require certain STD tests before marriage so you will be forced to disclose bad news anyway. no sense giving people unnecessary scares
plus, wives get crazy ideas sometimes. i once said that my wife’s friend looked like an ex I had. Needless to say I can no longer bring up my wife’s friend without some comment from my wife about my ex
By LiteMike on Jan 28, 2008
Talking about past relationships to the wife is just like handing her enough rope to hang you both with.
I adopted a full disclosure policy and have lived to regret it. Some of this ties into letting your spouse read your journal.
By Vatermann on Jan 28, 2008
I would say don’t discuss but I don’t think a spouse will go for it. They think they want to know but if they could see into the future it is probably best that they don’t.
Never reveal a past transgression. It should be forgotten not rehashed.
By Anonymous on Jan 29, 2008
Yes. Both parties should know. And I think nitty gritty details are good too.
By Doc on Jan 30, 2008
I echo that NEVER reveal a past transgression, if you’ve truly repented the Lord has forgotten it, don’t tell a [future] spouse who might not so easily forget.
By Anonymous on Feb 5, 2008