Quick Tip: Delegating Santa’s Duties
With Christmas so close I find myself once again struggling to find a gift for my wife. She already bought herself the Treo she’s been begging for, assuring me that it can count as her Christmas gift and that I don’t need to get her anything. Now, even a donkey like me knows that you should never believe your wife when she says you don’t need to get her anything. But, as many of you husbands know–imagining up a gift can be a nightmare. If your wife is like mine—claiming that giving me a wishlist would eliminate the element of surprise—then you are in real trouble.
During our second Christmas together, I somehow convinced my wife to give me a list of items she would like. She identified 3 categories: clothing, office supplies, and household stuff. I decided to ignore the clothing idea and went for the office supplies and household stuff–thankfully she gave me a few ideas within each of these categories. I went to Wal-Mart and raided the office supplies aisle–20 packages of 3×5 cards, a dozen folders, 10 packs of pens, some lined paper for good measure, plus a couple other random things like staples and tape refills. I then went to the household aisle and picked up a griddle. What a job I did! Christmas shopping for my wife took less than 20 minutes! I didn’t really know how to wrap anything, which has been a recurring problem over the years (thank goodness for plastic shopping bags), so I just piled everything up into a couple packing boxes and taped some wrapping paper to the sides and tops of the boxes.
Christmas morning came and I was excited to see my wife’s reaction, but what a bust it turned out to be (the gift-giving, not her face). Apparently my wife assumed that the office supplies would be used to stuff her stocking (was that my job too?), not as her main gifts. She looked shocked as she surveyed the sea of note cards, pens, and paper.
“You aren’t happy?” I asked.
“Not really,” she said, “I really wanted the clothes I told you about.”
“Well,” I said, “that was too hard to figure out. What if I guessed a size that was too big? I would be in a lot of trouble. I decided to avoid that drama. Besides, you wrote this other stuff down too.”
We discussed the situation for a while, but this really went nowhere, and although I didn’t get into a lot of trouble, I didn’t make Christmas very good that year. Years have passed, and I still hate spending a lot of time trying to figure out what she wants, so I have devised a few methods that enable me to provide a nice gift without spending a lot of time or thought.
So, I am dubbing December Thoughtless Gift Month, and providing tips on getting holiday gifts for your wife without spending much time or thought.
The Santa’s Little Helper method
Although shopping from a list can prove to be disastrous (see above), it can be successful if you delegate the purchasing duties to a female who can interpret the code. Like a cryptanalyst working for the government, your sister, mother, or female friend can understand what your wife really meant to write. You might need to sell your little helper on this idea, but just tell her that you are desperate to provide a good Christmas this year, and she is the only one capable of doing it. After you have buttered her up, let her know that she has free reign to purchase whatever she thinks it is your wife wants. Of course you should provide a budget. I suggest 20 percent below what you actually want to spend–hopefully this way you will only end up 20 percent over. Although the female helper will spend a bit more than you would have, you will be on your way to a successful and pain free Christmas, without much thought. Nice work!
10 Responses to “Quick Tip: Delegating Santa’s Duties”
your stupid you should ask me what she wants.
here are some ideas donkey:
-spa package (seeing as your cheap get a gift card to come beauty school they offer services really cheap)
-you cannot go wrong with anything from Vicky’s Secret
-Shoes…you might be too dumb to know what kind but i think she would want shoes
-her favorite movie, cd, or book
-She’s a crafty lady, get arts and crafts stuff….
the list goes on an on. if you have further questions…you know who to come to
By Lou on Dec 10, 2007
I hope these tips will work. I have been dropping hints for months about cheap, small things i would love and it’s a no go. i’m now holding firm with the “you don’t have to get me anything for Christmas” position. really that would be fine, i did get a new kitchen this year. however i don’t think that will be fine for him and i’m done helping….
By cworth on Dec 10, 2007
things we would want if we were rich, but we are not so we save them for special times like chrsitmas…these are the gifts we all want i think (like Lou said- spa packages, new shoes, crafts, movies, and Vicky S. - that which we wouldn’t get for ourselves but we would love to have on a daily basis, instead of “when the budget is right”).
bottom line though - i wish P and i could turn every holiday into the “non-Valentine’s Day” holiday we have turned February 14th into. i mean, what is all the hubub about? can’t we just get gifts for each other when we want to? why does it have to be a certain time? do we get them for each other simply because everyone else will be getting gifts at that time and we will be asked, “so what did you get?” and we need to have a response, and if we don’t it means our spouse is evil?
i always say, thank goodness we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, so this way we can celebrate EVERY day…it isn’t true, but it sounds good.
By celine on Dec 10, 2007
eliminating thought and time in other words love and care that is what gift giving is all about?—YEAH BOY!!!! this is sheer brilliance. you already got one girl to start on your process. Lou has given suggestions next step is having her pick em up- you are my hero
By phillyz on Dec 10, 2007
Donkey,
The Santa’s helper idea has proven successful for me. I have found myself in your same situation. So what I ended up doing is enlisting the assistance of the person who knows my wife’s taste perfectly… My mother in law.
My mother in law shops with my wife all the time. In fact, if given the opportunity, would spend all day every day shopping with her. Luckily for me, my wife is very frugal but is constantly telling my mother in law what she would love to have. So while they are shopping my mother in law graciously takes notes for me on what my wife would just love to have. After they finish shopping, she pulls me aside or calls me at work and tells me what she wanted even down to the size, color, and which is number one on my wife’s list. When she opens up her gifts on Christmas, I am the hero because I knew exactly what my wife wanted.
This is a great method if you get along with your mother in law.
By J on Dec 10, 2007
j: nice idea. I hadn’t thought about it. I need to talk to Peggy right away so she can get my wife something. Yikes! I just remembered that her birthday is soon too.
By The Donkey on Dec 10, 2007
maybe i should enlist the brothers in my husband’s gift giving? does this work in reverse? has anyone ever tried it?
i don’t want my husband to be crying because I didn’t get him a christmas or birthday gift again.
donkey, phillyz, baldemort…any suggestions?
By celine on Dec 11, 2007
allow me celine, the greatest gift any guy can have is party time and party tools. so i would recommend games
By phillyz on Dec 11, 2007
If you’re going to get your wife “sleepwear” take a good look at what she usually sleeps in. If she likes flannel pjs, don’t get her something slinky and see-through UNLESS you also get her something comfy and cozy. It goes the other way too.
Go thru her toiletries and get her MORE of what she already uses. (stocking stuffers of course)
Another suggestion…take the kids shopping for gifts for mom. They spend more time with her. They are more intuitive. And she will never be disappointed by lame stuff that the kids picked out!
And if you’re not sure what size she wears, go look at the tags on the clothes she already has.
Most importantly PUT IN THE EFFORT.
By wifelikeme on Dec 11, 2007
You could allways do what my husband did. The night before christmas he wrapped up a best buy gift card that was given to him by his employer. Doing this allowed him to: 1) Recycle a gift he didn’t really want 2) Avoid having to shop or put any thought into the gift. He also added a nice scribbled note about how he “promises to be a better man and stay sober this year”…
By Anonymous on Dec 26, 2007