Marriage Advice: Should a husband give his wife a “gift” he won at work?
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Here’s where we answer our our readers’ questions. Please don’t blame us if the suggestions don’t work for you. You’re the one taking advice from a donkey.
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Dear Donkey and Wife
My wife and I are on a budget since she is in medical school and we are living on my salary and a little bit of her loans. Since this is the case we are also on a budget for Christmas of $25 for each other. Recently I went to a Christmas reception at our health club and entered a drawing for a gift package from the local bike shop including a womens winter cycling jacket. Lo and behold I won. I guess I have two options, see if I can exchange it for one my size or give it to my wife for Christmas. The jacket retails for over $75 and I know she would love it since we bike a lot. What should I do, can I use this as my Christmas gift and save the $25?
-Freeloader
He Says
Come on now; this is a no-brainer. It’s clear that you need to give your wife the jacket as a gift and pocket the $25 for yourself. Your wife won’t be getting you much with her $25, so you’ll need some extra cash. Call up some of the boys and go out to dinner. She’ll be none the wiser and you get to enjoy a nice meal with your friends. Oh, and avoid a rookie mistake–do not confess the truth behind this story. There is no reason for your wife to know about this and to think you got it for free, because you didn’t. Did you go to the gym and work out? YES! Did you take the time to fill out an entry form? YES! Is time free? NO! You earned it for her. Feel good about this decision and eat a mozzarella stick for me.
She Says
Actually, you have only one option: Give her the jacket and spend the $25 on additional gifts for your wife. I’m not sure how long you’ve been married, so you may or may not have learned this yet: your wife will tell you not to get her too much or spend too much for Christmas, but you are still supposed to spend a lot and get her a lot! For instance–last month when we ordered my new cell phone/PDA, I told The Donkey that we could count it as my Christmas present, but I still expect a stocking full of stuffers and a nice, thoughtful gift or two. Fortunately, I have been married long enough to know better.
Enough from us. What advice do you have for Freeloader?
7 Responses to “Marriage Advice: Should a husband give his wife a “gift” he won at work?”
I actually agree with the donkey on this one. All in the name of the budget, give the wife the jacket and then give yourself praise for saving money.
By cworth on Dec 19, 2007
Hmmm - I don’t fully agree with either of you this time. I think the jacket does need to go to the wife, and I think the $25 does need to be spent on your wife. But don’t go over budget! You’re working together to get into a good place financially. Don’t blow it on Christmas gifts.
By Nancy Sabina on Dec 19, 2007
Alright, I suppose I agree that you shouldn’t abandon the budget completely… but you will score serious points with your wife if you use the budgeted money for a gift, and ALSO give her the jacket. Even on a budget, you can always give extra gifts like a thoughtful letter, homemade gift certificates, etc…
By The Wife on Dec 19, 2007
come on now- there is clearly only one acceptable solution. you give her the jacket and tell her it costs $75 and since you were so nice as to get her such a great gift she should up her limit to $75 on your gift and you keep the $25 for yourself and you end up with a net profit of $100!!!!
By phillyz on Dec 20, 2007
Here’s what you do: Give her the jacket. Do NOT tell her it was free. Instead tell her that you found the perfect gift and it was over budget, so she has permission to spend more too - say $25 more? This way you get a better gift ($50 bucks can buy twice as much as $25) so the money comes back to you in the end, you stay in budget, and she thinks you’re being super nice. It’s win win really.
By Karen Rich on Dec 20, 2007
I guess the days are gone when it was “the thought that counts” when giving a gift…not the monetary value.
If you’d won the jacket any other time of year you would have taken it home and handed it to her as a “look what I scored!” gift. And THEN you would have spent $25 on her at Christmas, as agreed.
Give her the jacket if you think it is something she would really love, then make a $25 payment on her student loans.
By wifelikeme on Dec 21, 2007
The jacket goes to the wife unless you can exchange it and you have to buy her a Christmas present. The jacket is totally separate from what has been budgeted for Christmas. So far as the so-called rookie mistake, I’ve been married 35 1/2 years and if I win something, I’m gonna let her know about it. If she finds out about it later, then I appear dishonest.
By Mike Goad on Dec 30, 2007