Please Pass the PB & J
Yesterday as I cleaned up from lunch with the two younger boys–Monkey and Dimples–I suddenly stopped, confused. Had I eaten lunch yet? For the life of me, I could not remember. I was so busy trying to cut the peanut butter sandwiches in just the right shape, and remember who wanted what color cup, and be sure that there was something remotely healthy as a side-dish (does mint chocolate ice cream count as a “green”?), that I honestly could not remember if I had made a sandwich for myself or not. I tasted a faint hint of peanut butter in my mouth, but maybe that was just from the bits I nibbled while de-crusting Monkey’s sandwich.
Of course, The Donkey went out for lunch yesterday. To a restaurant. Where someone else makes the food. And you don’t have to ask for wet napkins every 3 minutes to wipe globs of jelly off of anyone’s shirt. Or pants. Or hair. For those of you wondering how The Donkey could manage to go anywhere nice with the meager allowance that his strict wife has imposed upon him, don’t worry. He not only has his trusty box of “free” change (which clearly I already knew about–I think about it every time I am parking at the downtown meters, and discover that all the quarters have mysteriously disappeared from my wallet), he also gets taken out regularly by business vendors–and I’m pretty sure they don’t eat McDonalds. Or peanut butter.
9 Responses to “Please Pass the PB & J”
It’s not as luxurious as she makes it out. Yesterday in fact, I did have to get about 3 wet napkins to get the BBQ sauce from the wings off my hands and face
By The Donkey on Oct 11, 2007
what’s going on this isn’t wife advice. i need money skimming tips.
By phil on Oct 11, 2007
In response to “this isn’t wife advice” – clearly it IS wife advice. The advice is TAKE YOUR WIFE OUT TO DINNER!!! With no kids! Or let her go out by herself while YOU wipe up PB&J from little faces.
Or at least, that’s the advice I’d like MY husband to get.
By Nancy Sabina on Oct 11, 2007
Y’all are hilarious!
By Aunt Boo on Oct 11, 2007
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, Wife you have the patience of Job. Luckily Roger doesn’t eat out that often for lunch, or get taken out that often either, I couldn’t take it. I’m jealous about things like that, I’m ok to have pb&J for lunch as long as that is what he’s having! (i’m a horrible person, I know you don’t need to say it!)
By Chelsea Worth on Oct 11, 2007
you are all haters let the guy enjoy the meats of his labor
By phil on Oct 12, 2007
Sorry for the long post, but:
In all honesty I used to have these conversations with my wife. She would say, “Do you know what I ate today?” (I shrug) “Nothing, I was too busy cleaning and taking care of YOUR kids.” Now I have been busy at work… really busy, but I have yet to say that I have had nothing. Priorities are priorities. Plus who says we have to eat pb&j? Nobody put the gun to your head and said make pb&J for the kids and by the way you don’t get any. If I was a stay at home Dad, we would get food delivered sometimes, and maybe we would go out for a meal sometimes. I’d say to the waitress, “Cut my kids’ pb&j up into a dinosaur shape and take the crusts off please, and I’ll have my steak medium rare.” I’d mix it up and NEVER forget to partake.
All joking aside, this is sometimes a grass is greener scenario. As a guy who does eat out a lot on on other peoples dimes I can see how that might be looked at with some envy. In most cases it is pretty good, but when you aren’t paying you can’t often choose the company you are with or the subjects discussed. There are business folks I could go with who would love to buy me a meal to listen to them drone on about something I care little about for an hour. More than once I have intentionally avoided a free business lunch because I couldn’t bear the experience of bad company or boredom. On those days I wish I was home eating a simple sandwich with the kids. I think routine is the key; whatever your routine, I think we all need to break out of it once in awhile.
By Karlmalone on Oct 13, 2007
McDonald’s Kills, PB Saves — it’s the new health food! The oils are Omega3!
Try PB sandwiches, open-faced, fried in bacon fat.
By BrianFH on Oct 19, 2007