Comments on: Lesson 8: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

By: ismaiel malek

ismaiel malek — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:50:14 +0000

wife is not bad,but every one need her and you mast think about mre than more

By: WifeAdvice.com - funny marriage stories from a clueless husband and his patient wife » Blog Archive » 1939 Marital Rating Scale–Wife and Husband Charts by George W. Crane

Fri, 16 May 2008 17:26:57 +0000

[...] Fortunately I got points for remembering birthdays and anniversaries, because it didn’t say you had to do anything about them–just remember them. I lost points for not liking to shave and wear a suit (even though I don’t refuse to do it). I also lost points for answering no to “often tells wife that he loves her,” but I could argue that I have written my feelings down in a letter that she can read anytime. [...]

By: WifeAdvice.com - funny marriage stories from a clueless husband and his patient wife » Blog Archive » Quick Tip: A Vampire Book Could Save Your Life

Fri, 02 May 2008 16:06:26 +0000

[...] During our recent trip my wife and I drove all over the place. We went from Virginia to New Jersey, back to Virginia, back up to New Jersey, up to Niagara Falls, down to Pittsburgh, and then back to Virginia. Thanks to construction and mis-hearing the GPS’s instructions a few times, we spent 25 hours driving. Luckily we had our friends with us for one of the legs, but my wife and I were alone for the other 21 hours of the trip. The trip to Niagara and Pittsburgh was somewhat last minute, so I wasn’t prepared for a long trip in the car. By prepared I don’t mean having snacks, music, books, and other things to do – I mean mentally prepared. I don’t have exact calculations, but I spent at least 4 hours answering questions like, ‘Why did you marry me?” “What do you like about me?” I spent another 2-4 hours listening to my wife cry because I somehow couldn’t figure out the correct answers to her questions. If I only had that paper with my preset answers. [...]

By: WifeAdvice.com - funny marriage stories from a clueless husband and his patient wife » Blog Archive » Making Marriage Work: Interview with Dr. William J. Doherty

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:17:53 +0000

[...] Donkey: Sometimes my wife will ask me, “Why do you love me?” I feel like I have answered this question many times, but apparently I haven’t. What should I [...]

By: Nathaniel

Nathaniel — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 05:28:00 +0000

Awesome article, great topic. I’ve got to say, I’ve felt annoyed by that question more than once. I almost want to tell her “Yes, I love you. I said it when we got married and if it changes I’ll let you know.”

But we all know that doesn’t hold up too well. I know she just wants to hear it but at the same time the male mind interprets “Do you love me?” as “I’m not sure if you love me, remind me again.” That can be quite the blow.

Good advice about telling them why every so often. I’ll have to come up with a list that I can cycle through. Nice idea. I’ll certainly take it into account.

I bet the list would have gone over better if it was more artistically done, perhaps in poem accompanied by artwork and something she could frame. It’s a little… well… wussy, but who cares. Women love that mushy stuff… or so I’m told.
~Nathaniel

By: April*

April* — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:41:00 +0000

It’s not that I doubt that my husband loves me, all I need to do is look at him and I know, it’s just sometimes it’s nice to hear him say the words without being prompted.
Call me a hopeless romantic but I cherish the moments when my husband looks at me in amazement and love and just can’t help but tell me how much he loves me and why.
It’s nice to hear, nice to be reminded of. I fall in love with Jack in new ways everyday and I love sharing that with him- *shrug* maybe I’m just a very emotional woman.

By: celine

celine — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:53:00 +0000

Why would a question like this ever need to be asked? It should be assumed we are loved if we are still married and engaging in procreation and the rearing of children. If you must ask this question, I think there may be something you are unsure of in your husband. Am I just confident or arrogant? I am not sure, but I have to say that I never ask this question of my husband. Now, this is not to say it has never crossed my mind, but it does not need to be asked because the answer is always, of course – even in my mind. And why? Because…why not?

Do we really need Stuart Smalley at our shoulders repeating to us…”because we are good enough and smart enough and dogonnit. people like me.” Please…spare me (all of womankind) and your husbands.

Come ladies…are we really that needy for verbal affection to substantiate what we already know to be true? I think we should recognize – that kind of verbal affection will only come from other women and we should stop seeking it from our husbands. Let us understand their limits. (as Phil suggests we should deeply consider)

By: phil

phil — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 18:21:00 +0000

i understand what people are saying about giving affection, but i think sometimes for us guys these kind of questions are a major trap, perhaps not intentional but a trap none the less. as the donkey explained he was more than willing to share his feelings and thoughts and answer the question, but it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. we never know what you want to hear. it’s not that we are unwilling to express affection, we are just ignorant. so how about a break coach us along, accept a letter as us trying our best.

By: Cassandra

Cassandra — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 12:24:00 +0000

Vaterman nailed it:

What she says: Do you love me?

What she means: I had an emotional day, and I feel helpless, alone, and unloved. Would you, who’s opinion matters most, please show me some g-rated physical and/or verbal affection.

What he understands: You don’t love me, and you never did.

How he responds: Nothing I do makes a lasting difference anyway, so I’ll tell her what she wants to hear and get her off my back.

******

Most women are uncomfortable just asking straight out for what they want (in this case, just to hear the words “I love you” from the person they care most about in the whole world at the end of a bad day). In our minds, if you “really cared”, you’d notice we were upset and want to make it better without us having to say anything. When men not only don’t notice but get annoyed when we let you know we need something from you, that only makes us feel worse. It probably was just a bad day that prompted the request, but now we also feel rejected on top of everything else

If you can, indulge her need for affection. You’re not being blamed, and you won’t be unless you hurt us even more by being annoyed or indifferent. We just want some attention and aren’t very good about letting you know that directly.

Bottom line: we are letting you know how important you are to us.

By: April*

April* — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 03:46:00 +0000

This made me happy because I realized I’m not the only woman who asks the same question to her husband. However, I must say, I thought it would be a good idea to share this my wonderful husband… it wasn’t.
I clearly labeled a note which said: Disclaimer* I think the letter idea is cute and I wouldn’t get mad at you if you did it but after he read it he was under the impression that he should now avoid the conversation all together and not even try :/ not the reaction I was hoping for.

I think you should do you’re next topic on not assuming you know what you’re wife is thinking, or what her reaction will be, because from my experience usually when he’s in trouble that’s why.