He Said She Said: Whose vocabulary should parents teach their children?
West is Best?
She Said: When in Rome
Early in our marriage, my husband once mentioned that he needed new sneakers. “Sneakers?!” I exclaimed, “Did you just call them sneakers–I’ve never heard someone say that outloud–that sounds so dorky.” Confused, he asked what I called them. Tennis shoes, of course.”Hmm. Did you ever play tennis in them? No? That’s what I thought. You’re living in the East, buddy. Booya. Who’s laughing now?”
It’s not that I didn’t have a comeback for his very clever taunting, it’s just that in most of my dealings with The Donkey I end up choosing the path of least resistance. So, I quickly converted to his way of speaking and happily drank soda (not pop), ate lollipops (not suckers) and yes, I even wore sneakers. I did however draw the line at the pronunciation of my home state, which is Ore-GUN, not Ore-GAWN, as The Donkey would have you believe.
We have since relocated to the western side of the country, which means I have to decide which vocabulary to use. So, which is worse–being mocked at home for the way I talk or sounding a bit funny at Pizza Hut ordering a slice of pepperoni pie? I am now forced to rethink my strategy, since the kids are growing up here in the West, and are learning all the local words and phrases. I think it’s about time I got back to my roots, gall darnit. I wanna talk like a Westerner, and teach my kids the western words. The boys need to understand and be understood by their classmates. Why should The Donkey’s way be the only way?
He Said: Stick with the Status Quo
I don’t have anything against any portion of the country, except maybe the top part of Idaho that wants to break off and be its own little country—that just sounds funny. My main concern about switching over to Western English is the made up words such as squoze/squozen (e.g. “I have squozen my own orange juice ever since I was a youngin”) and heighth (e.g. “The heighth of the door was 7 feet.”) I had never heard these words until moving out West.
I don’t really think there are right and wrong ways to pronounce words—although made up words are a different story. A better way to look at it is “more acceptable” and “less acceptable.” My argument is that we should pronounce words in the most acceptable way. But this doesn’t mean most acceptable in the local region. Rather, it means most acceptable by the majority of the country. For example, I know a lot of people from Missouri pronounce the state Mi-zoo-rah, while the rest of the country pronounces it Mi-zoo-ri. Does that mean the rest of the country is incorrect? No. It means that Mi-zoo-ri is the most common way.
I want our kids to use the most accepted ways to pronounce words so they can travel around the country without being embarrassed by saying things like, “Hey Johnny, can you grab my thongs?” This means flip flops where we live now, but I still can’t hear it without picturing underwear. Or how about, “Amy, do you have a sucker?” This means lollipop where we live now, but means a foolish person back in New Jersey.
So let’s stick to the status quo and drop the crazy pronunciation choices and made up words. By the way, the only suckers are going to be those of you who vote for my wife.
What do you think we should teach our kids? Vote in our poll
Update: The poll is now closed. See the results here.
16 Responses to “He Said She Said: Whose vocabulary should parents teach their children?”
When I hear someone say pop (soda) I feel like I’m in the 1950’s. I’m thinking that I’m going to find a good old fasion malt shoppe and order my pop from a soda jerk and maybe then head out to an ice cream parlor. Donkey, teach those kids the most accepted way so they can keep up with the rest of the country.
By Lord Baldemort on Oct 15, 2007
You will find that your kids will pick up a little on each side of the fence, no matter what the vote.
For HE said:
I insist that your way of saying Oregon is not accepted in any circle no matter how you cut the pizza pie. So better re-learn your prononciation on that one. It is the least you can do.
By Margaret AKA Mom, AKA Grandma on Oct 15, 2007
most likely the kids will choose their own way, even if you both use east coast pronunciation at home they will be bombarded with suckers, and pops at school. i also am going to be facing this dilemma. i will speak the way i want and if my kids choose to speak utahn and ask for a sucker i will ridicule and belittle them until they realize they are the suckers.
By phil on Oct 15, 2007
I am not sure how to vote because the correct answer is mixed.
I grew up saying thongs but the connotation after the “thong song” does not convey footwear. So I now use flip-flops as the accepted phrase. I still prefer sucker but it is also a stupid person (all in the context) and since pop hasn’t been used since the 50’s, I’d go with soda. (You could use Soda Pop, but only if you say “Sodee pop” in your best old prospector voice.)
Here are my pronunciation pet peeves:
1. Nevada – the first “a” is pronounced as in apple and not as in awesome.
2. Oregon – it isn’t a three syllable word, don’t make it one.
3. Halloween – The “a” is as in apple. It is not an “o” to sound like olive.
By Karlmalone on Oct 15, 2007
They are not tennis shoes – you don’t play tennis in them. They are not sneakers – you don’t sneak around in them.
They are shoes. Or, as we say in Hillsboro, “feetbags”.
By Andy Nelson on Oct 15, 2007
Way to go Andy! I like shoes better than sneakers, but I’m not sure about feetbags. I don’t think I could get away with referring to any of my wife’s clothing as bags. Once I said her dress looked like drapes and I got busted, so I now just use acceptable terms such as skirt, shirt, pants, etc.
By The Donkey on Oct 15, 2007
what about “runners” — a Canadian friend of mine says that is what they say just north of the border…
By the way, i am not sure “the majority” of the country speaks like we do in NJ. I have been finding that even East Brunswick has its own speech pattern and colloquialisms – ones I have not heard anywhere else in the world.
My vote is to teach them EVERY language — even the “western” American version whether it is useful or not, they will apreciate all languages not just what “the majority” uses and be able to communicate on various levels. (for more selfish reasons — I voted for NJspeak because then they will be able to communicate with me when I get home — however, maybe I should recommend some Turkish so they can understand Calvin also)
this comment is already too long – I have too much time on my hands
By celine on Oct 16, 2007
Let them know both ways. It’s like speaking more than one language. I grew up in the West and I now live in the South. You adjust your speaking to those you are speaking to.
By KimberlyDi on Oct 16, 2007
Question for The Donkey…So when you eat your slice of pie, do you fold it in half? And Wife, if he does, do you also? I thought Tim was nuts for this, then I realized in the East it’s the only way to eat it. I got looked at funny for eating it the Western way. Then I realized how much more efficient it really is. I’m converted. When you go to pizza hut in the East just don’t ask for Hawaiian, it doesn’t exist. Just order a “regular slice” it mean cheese only.
By Jolie Rodriguez on Oct 16, 2007
I had to send this blog to Tim. As you can imagine this subject comes up at least once a week at our dinner table. Can I add one more word…he says “boo boo”, I say, “owie”. The kids say both. I had to correct Becky yesterday on how to pronounce “Oreegun”. Yikes I even had to correct Audrey, and she’s only been here for 3 years and we moved from Oregon! I have to admit, living in the east I have picked up a few things. Or maybe it’s living with a native New Yorker but I can’t help crave more dirty water dogs, sausage and peppers and say “gahead” for “go ahead”. Oh well, I guess it’s kinda like that song…”He says tomata, she says Tomato, let’s call the whole thing off.” Diverisity is the spice of life, and you’ve got it right at your own kitchen table, who knew?!
By Jolie Rodriguez on Oct 16, 2007
Jolie, if you are ordering Pizza Hut in the east you are truly squandering the resources provided. There are so many good “Ma and Pa” pizza places. NO need to settle.
By Lord Baldemort on Oct 16, 2007
the reason that people in the east fold the pizza is because it so nice and thin, here in the west the pizza is like texas toast with cheese, there is no folding it. what a pity
By phil on Oct 16, 2007
Lord Baldemort, I have to say, I’ve only eaten at Pizza Hut once since moving out here and that was when we were on vacation last summer in Missouri. I mentioned pizza hut in reference to the wife’s comment about it in her blog. You are right, no need for dominoes, pizza hut, etc. We love our little ma and pa italian restaurant down the street. Can’t beat it.
By Jolie Rodriguez on Oct 16, 2007
I typically fold the pizza in NJ. The pizza out here is too thick, so I can’t. The only pizza I really like here from The Pie. It is pretty good.
By The Donkey on Oct 17, 2007
I am totally with Donkey on this one. Sorry wife.
By Cindy on Nov 13, 2008
I have to take exception to Donkey’s example of the pronunciation of Missouri. I’m a Missourian, born, raised, and lifelong resident.
The proper pronuciation is Mis-SOO-ree. Drives us St. Louisans insane when we hear all of those out-state polititians pronouncing it wrong – it’s not just those who live ouside of Missouri who pronounce it correctly.
By Dameon on Nov 18, 2008