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Here’s where we answer our readers’ questions. Please don’t blame us if the suggestions don’t work for you. You’re the one taking advice from a donkey.
Dear Donkey and Wife
I have been married for 2 years and can’t get used to the mess caused in the bathroom by my wife. We both work, but I am forced to get up earlier so I don’t have to deal with the bathroom tornado aftermath. What can I do?
-”Down in the Dumps”
My friend, I think we both know that you create a mess in the bathroom too. It might not be a hundred half empty shampoo bottles, or a curling iron cord wrapped around the drawers, or an improperly squeezed tube of toothpaste, but I’m sure you contribute to the disaster area. Does a soggy washcloth on the bottom of the tub sound familiar? What about the huge wet puddle on the floor from when you decided to jump right out without toweling off properly? We can agree that both parties are guilty. But to answer your question, I will address the most popular complaint I have heard from men over the years regarding the bathroom.
Picture this: You’re getting into the shower when suddenly you notice a fuzzy creature clinging to the tile wall. Nothing like a huge hairball in the shower to shock you awake. How is it possible that our wives haven’t gone bald yet with all the hair they are spreading over shower walls every day? And what can be done about it? Here’s my idea: Collect the hair over a period of a month. Perhaps you can hide it in a pillow case in the closet. At the end of the month, dump the hair into the tub before she gets in. When she questions you, blame it on hormones and leave the house. By the way, your wife sounds very clever. She gets an extra 30 minutes of sleep in the morning because you can’t handle the mess.
I’m pretty impressed that The Donkey is able to take a bit of the blame for the bathroom messes, although he did forget to mention the dried yellow stain on the floor under the back of the toilet. Oh, and the whiskers that were shaken out of the razor, which are now embedded into the sink right along with that glob of toothpaste that didn’t get rinsed down. There is nothing worse than a bathroom full of hair, and I must admit culpability when it comes to leaving hairballs on the shower wall occasionally.
Maybe it would be helpful to look at the bright side of the messy situation. Try thinking to yourself, “Oh look, my sweetheart left a hairball on the wall again; oh well, at least she didn’t rinse it down the drain, because then I would have to call my dad or brother and convince them to come over and unclog my tub since I don’t know how.” Or try this: “Oh look at the curling iron on the counter. She must not have wanted to put it away while it was still hot; how considerate of her to not set the house on fire! But, oh no–now the cords are getting stuck in the drawers! Wait, I’ve got it! Since the iron has cooled off now, I can just put it away where it goes and it won’t cause any more problems. And bonus–putting it away myself takes only a fraction of the time it would take to march downstairs and lecture her about it!” Hopefully looking at the bright side will help bring you out of the dumps.
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