He Said, She Said: My Wife Grew Up on a Farm But Won’t Admit It
Down on the Farm?
Did The Wife grow up on a farm?
Read each side of the story and decide for yourself.
He Said: She’s a Farm Girl
I am excited to finally really get into the He Said, She Said so we can have a good debate. I know my wife has a bunch of loyal followers, but after I present my facts, you will likely fall into my support camp. One of the longstanding arguments we’ve had is whether or not she comes from a farm/farming family. This started when I met her and found out she was from Oregon (pronounced “oar-uh-gawn”). She said she was from a fairly large city and that it wasn’t a farm and that she wasn’t from a farming community or family. After her description of Corvallis, I had to admit that it might be a stretch to say that she was from a farm, but it was pretty close.
A few months later, I found out that she also used to live in Michigan. As she described the environment, it sounded more and more like a farm. I once again raised the possibility that she is from a farm. She again denied it. Over the next several years I collected facts and pictures to support my argument. I will now present them for your review and consideration. She has vowed to discount my arguments, but I guarantee that her defense will be weak and futile.
Some of you from farms might be offended that I am degrading her for being from a farm and that she is trying to say she is not from a farm. Don’t be too upset. Just be happy that you actually figured out how to get onto the Internet and go have some flapjacks and a glass of goat’s milk.
Facts about the Michigan home:
- There were multiple acres of property
- There was a barn on the property
- There was an orchard on the property
- Crops (both vegetables and fruits) were grown
- Livestock lived on the farm (mainly horses)
- There was a stable on the property
- The family bailed hay (thanks to Roger for letting me know about this)
- Their next neighbor was miles away
- As a child, she operated a tractor.
- The family woke up at or before 5am every morning
- There are 10 kids in the family
- There are many photos of the family in overalls
After documenting the facts, I wonder how on earth my wife can make a claim that she is not from a farm. Some points are stronger than others, but you must consider the facts in their entirety. I will stop here and won’t mention anything about Oregon since I have provided more than enough information on the matter. You be the judge. If you are impartial, you will find my wife guilty of living on a farm and all of the shame associated with that. Let the facts speak for themselves.
She Said: A Little Land does not a Farm Make
Let me explain a little more about how the debate started. When we were missionaries, Chris was always making remarks about me being from a farm. This was based on his perception that anyone living west of New Jersey must be a hick. He was always telling people that I grew up on a farm or that my great-great-grandfather invented the spur–anything to get people to listen to him and laugh at me (his purpose for living). Later, when his family first met me, he continually called me a farm girl from Oregon (which he still refuses to pronounce correctly). About 6 months after we got married, I was shocked when one of his brothers asked me a question about my farm; I thought they had realized this had all been a joke. The debate was now on. My main argument went something like this: “My Dad is a computer guy and we didn’t live on a farm.” Chris had nothing to stand on, other than statements like, “you guys, trust me: she not only grew up on a farm, she is a champion log-roller.”
Admittedly, the debate got more interesting when Chris found out about the Michigan house. When Chris and I lived in Provo, back in our carefree days (before children) we hung out with Roger and Chelsea a lot, playing Mario Kart or Password (remind me to tell you a truly great story later) and gabbing late into the night. One night Roger and I were reminiscing about our house in Michigan, and Chris’s curiosity was piqued. (Those who know Chris can imagine the way his face lights up whenever he gets new information he can use to further torment someone.)
I will now state my main argument: We simply were not farmers. If someone asked where I lived, I would say, “In the white house on Baldwin Street, across from the golf course.” And they would say, “Oh, you mean that big white house on the hill?” Nobody ever said, “Oh, you live on that farm?” What’s more, people (who knew where I lived) always asked me what my dad did for a living. I would say that he was a computer-engineer-manager-guy at some place that made conveyor belts. That may not have been his exact job title, but it certainly wasn’t “farmer.” This should be enough to convince anyone that I did not “come from a farm/farming family,” but I will gladly respond to Chris’s other points: (His claims are in italics, followed by my responses)
- There were multiple acres of property. I’m not sure how many acres we had, but it was not a lot (Dad?). If multiple acres makes a farm, then I guess the term “Beverly Hillbillies” can be applied to a lot of Hollywood actors.
- There was a barn on the property. This is true. But, putting a barn on a plot does not make it a farm.
- There was an orchard on the property. We planted a handful of fruit trees, from which we never picked much fruit (they were still young when we moved away).
- Crops (both vegetables and fruits) were grown. I imagine Chris is referring to a small family garden on a 2×10 foot strip of dirt. We maybe planted it one year, and it was not very successful.
- Livestock lived on the farm (mainly horses). We did board horses. This means a couple people rented the use of our barn and some grazing area for their horses. We had nothing to do with caring for these animals. Aside from a few fish and parakeets (which were, in fact, ours) the 2 horses were the only animals on our property.
- There was a stable on the property. I’m not sure how this argument differs from Chris’s earlier claim of there being a barn on the property. There is likely a difference between a barn and a stable, but I wouldn’t know since I’m not from a farm.
- The family bailed hay. We had tall grass. I remember it was really great for stomping down to make forts and mazes. Sadly, one year we paid some people to come and cut it down. They did, in fact, pack it into bails.
- Their next neighbor was miles away. Sorry, Chris. There was a house just in front of ours, a fraction of a mile down the hill, in perfect view. I remember hearing music from their radio and drooling over their pool, wishing they had kids that could invite us over to swim.
- As a child, she operated a tractor. I drove a riding-lawn-mower to mow the lawn.
- The family woke up at or before 5 am every morning. It was 5:30 am, for early morning seminary–something Chris also did.
- There are 10 kids in the family. True. There are 11 in Chris’s family.
- There are many photos of the family in overalls. Untrue. I never owned a pair of overalls–even when they were popular. (Remember how people would leave one hook open, hanging down, New Kids on the Block-style? I always wanted to do that, but this was yet another fad that I missed out on.)
So, that’s it. Were there some farm-like elements?–Maybe. But, by no stretch of the imagination were we considered to be living on a farm or a farm family. No, that was my neighbor down the street… She had cows, a barn, and even a silo. I remember giving her a ride home one day. We had picked up a pizza, so the van was thick with the smell of hot crust, melted cheese, and pepperoni. She stepped out of the van, took a big sniff of her property (infamous for its manure stench) and said, “Ah, fresh air at last.” Now that’s a farm girl.
Now that you’ve heard both sides, be sure to cast your vote in our poll (The poll is now closed. Click here to see the results of the poll).
Be sure to check out the comments, where the debate raged on…
17 Responses to “He Said, She Said: My Wife Grew Up on a Farm But Won’t Admit It”
Truth be told, I really wanted to be on Chris’ side for this one (sorry nancy) until I realized what the subject matter was. The Grant Worth family are NOT farmers, no way, no how. I wouldn’t even call myself a farmer even though I grew up in the sticks of Ohio, had cows, had a real tractor, rode in the combine(sp?) with my dad and spread manure (from our own cows) on our garden. We owned some lifestock at times my dad farmed other people’s farms for them, but we didn’t actually have a farm because if I said we did, that would be an insult to the ones who did in Ohio!! So Chris, you are SO wrong!!
btw, why the heck do people have these stupid word verifications? I end up having to type several of them b/c I never get them right. I don’t have one on our blog. . .
By Kelly on Jul 13, 2007
Well shut my mouth wide open ya’ll, it seems like Nancy has dug her own grave. The question is not whether she lived on a farm but rather were the Worths Successful farmers. It seems that most of their farming endevours failed. But that’s probably due to lack of farming experience. I am also curious why a computer guy would give up his work and try to take up farming? Or did he do both at the same time? Was it some childhood dream? Did you guys have any previous farming experience before you moved to the Michigan farm? Pretty risky move if if not. There is no shame in growing up on a farm, Nancy you should embrace you grassroots heritage and be not ashamed. So long partner.
By tom on Jul 13, 2007
I also was leaning Chris’s way when I read his side, as Mike grew up on a small “farm”, that seemed to match the description of the Worth’s Michigan home. Um, no, Nancy did not live on a farm. I think “farm” is subjective and the best judge would be the residents WHO ACTUALLY LIVED THERE.
I personally visited Nancy’s home in Corvallis on several occassions and it was about as far from a “farm” as you could get.
Amy
By Mama Nirvana on Jul 13, 2007
Nancy, I was on your side from the beginning
Your argument and facts state the truth. Carrie Nunn was infact a log rolling champion one year! If you want to see farmers, go to Eastern Oregon. Grant calls my dad a farmer too, because he rototills the garden and has apple trees!
By kg on Jul 13, 2007
This is madness. First of all, it is funny how the pecking order of the farming community works. She cites her friend down the road as being a farmer because she likes the smell of the open country. Isn’t it funny that she refers to this “hick” as her neighbor? I am sure that this hillbilly neighbor says that her neighbor just down the road is actually the farmer because he has chickens. And so it goes, until we find a guy in his bathtub (pool) on the front lawn bathing, listening to his stereo (car with a hanger for an antenna parked in the lawn next to the tub) while his neighbors drool in envy. (Sound familiar Wife?) Kelly’s comment above is a perfect example of the Farmer Phenomenon as I call it. I must disagree with her claim that the family doesn’t wear overalls. That is a lie. I have seen photos of her family members in overalls. And by the way, when in the world were overalls popular? I guess I would have to ask Fern from Charlotte’s Web to fill me in on that one. Additionally, my wife’s own mother today said they lived on at least 10 acres and her Dad just emailed and said it was 7-10 acres. That certainly qualifies as “several acres” as I claimed. She has tried to trivialize the facts I have presented. I am shocked that she claims not to know what a stable is when she clearly had one. I am also shocked that she claims to remember “tall grass” that was bailed. That sounds like hay to me. ***This just in. While looking through a family history book compiled by my wife’s dad, I noticed a very interesting entry from their days on the farm. “1984: The family home has a barn and several acres of alfalfa. From 1 to 3 horses are boarded on a continual basis. Grant and the boys build new fences to significantly expand the pasture area.” *** It is true that not just one or two elements qualify someone as being from a farm, but a combination of these facts certainly points to this. How can you disagree with me?
By The Donkey on Jul 13, 2007
I will start off by saying that I cannot say whether or not Nancy’s family is a farming family because I have never asked anyone in her family and obviously we can’t take Nancy’s word for it. However, it is very plain to see that she grew up on a farm. The house that I am comparing Nancy’s house to is my grandma, who I know lives on a farm because she says so. Her land doesn’t have nearly as many things as Nancy’s property did. Nancy’s family had about twice as many acres as my grandma did, more fruit trees, and a larger garden. My grandma’s property doesn’t have a barn/stable and they frequently let people use their property to make some extra money. Just because Nancy’s farm isn’t as big as some of the other farms in Oregon does not mean her house is not a farm. Nancy definately lived on a farm (even if she was never good enough to win a log rolling contest). If Nancy says she didn’t live on a farm, then I guess she would think my grandma lives in the city. By the way, my grandma lives in Rupert, Idaho (for all you farmers out there, that is not a city).
By Ryan on Jul 13, 2007
Luckily I also have access to a dictionary. I went to Webster and it says: 4: a tract of land devoted to agricultural purposes
5: a plot of land devoted to the raising of animals and especially domestic livestock. It had about 8 definitions, but none mentioned anything about livelihood. It just depends on what dictionary you use. People should start changing their votes. There is still time.
By The Donkey on Jul 13, 2007
I thought we should look up farm in the dictionary to really see what we are dealing with. Here’s what I found: “farm, noun, a tract of land, usually with a house, barn, silo, etc., on which crops and often livestock are raised for livelihood.” Sorry Chris, but they didn’t have any of that stuff for livelihood. Although what kind of life would all of us have if we were married to Worth farmers? It’s an interesting thought. Combine the work ethic we know Grant has with the work required of a farm. We would certainly be one tired lot!
By Chelsea Worth on Jul 13, 2007
For those of you who were at our wedding (oh, that’s right, Chris you were unavailable for the event) do you remember the farming test that Kevin failed miserably at from my Dad? The ONLY Worth who was helpful to Kevin was one Anna Worth (a fellow Ohioan) who knows a bit about farming. Maybe she should post her thoughts on the Worths being farmers.
Oh and Chris, farmer does not equal redneck as was described in your comment.
By Kelly on Jul 14, 2007
For anyone who has ever lived on a farm (as I have) (violins please) it is obvious that Nancy has not, did not and probably will not ever live on a farm. Especially given the absolute loathing and disdain Chris has for farmers and farmer’s daughters. Which leads me to my point in commenting. Pursuant to an ealier conversation, Chris has already been warned that he might be losing out on this year’s Christmas present from his mother-in-law (me). With his obvious disdain for farms, farmers and FARMER’S DAUGHTERS (I being one of them) it is easy to say that he has probably cut himself off for any Christmas presents for the rest of his life!! Not that this is a big financial loss or anything, but one would think that it should have some sort of psychological trauma associated with it. I know lots of people who live in big homes surrounded by lots of property; they own horses, keep them in a barns (of course; they even own a tractor. You have seen these places; their homes look like they are built on golf couurses, you know the ones with the manicured green grass and the white fences. These are not farms; they are ESTATES. And further more to be a farmer’s daughter you have to have a farmer for a father. The day Grant becomes a farmer is the day my father (a REAL bonafide Farmer) rolls over in his grave. (Lets hear if for the computer engineer and all the sons and daughters he raised to be like him, not a farmer or farmer’s daughter in the bunch!!) All the homes that I ever lived in with Nancy weren’t farms; the fact that she was there made them CASTLES. Let’s face it Chris you are living with a Queen that you only thought was a farmer’s daughter.
By Margaret AKA Mom, AKA Grandma on Jul 14, 2007
It is clear that the Michigan property could most certainly be considered a farm. I know of people who have their property designated by the government as farmland for tax purposes, and it doesn’t take much to be considered a farm. Just because Nancy’s family wasn’t farming the land doesn’t mean it couldn’t be considered a farm. I would also like to add that I am 99% sure that I have pesonally seen Nancy wear overalls.
By phillyz on Jul 16, 2007
Well, bad news for Nancy. This debate should finally come to a close and people will come back to reality. I went online to Michigan’s Deprtament of Agriculture site and got their definition of what a farm is. There are 4 main categories. Here is the one I think describes Nancy’s farm: (iii) A farm designated by the department of agriculture as a specialty farm in 1 ownership that has produced a gross annual income from an agricultural use of $2,000.00 or more. Specialty farms include, but are not limited to, greenhouses; equine breeding and grazing; the breeding and grazing of cervidae, pheasants, and other game animals; bees and bee products; mushrooms; aquaculture; and other similar uses and activities. Nancy’s farm certainly generated over $2000 with the hay bailing, stable, and other activities. I would clasify her farm as a specialty farm. I think the statement at the end “and other similar uses and activities” is very liberal and encompasses quite a bit. Anyway, we should finally see the vote swing toward reason instead of insanity.
By The Donkey on Jul 16, 2007
I’d have to say that mom knows best. Nancy’s mom is not the lying type–if she says that Nancy did not live in a farm then SHE DID NOT.
By Ditto Family on Jul 16, 2007
We can all agree the Worths are not farmers. However, in light of the evidence given I still must say the Michigan home seems to have been a farm. I also saw Nancy wearing overalls last week. She also had a straw hat with her but in her deffense she did not have it on her head.
By Tom on Jul 16, 2007
I believed the spur story. Remember that?
By mrs. everything on Jul 21, 2007