Wife Lessons Learn from Donkey's mistakes, even if he cant
I think it is important for me to share the wisdom and insight I have about marriage. I will regularly provide advice and knowledge on the topic of marriage for all those who could use a little help. The information I provide is free. Although it should not be taken as authoritative doctrine, it is based on years of real-life research. Use my advice wisely and avoid the mistakes I have made.
I’ve been told that “Husband Advice” would be a more appropriate title. But “Wife Advice ” sounds funnier and is short for: “How Not to Treat Your Wife Advice”
This a mistake I made on our honeymoon. My wife asked what I would rate her on a scale from 1-10. I thought for a minute and gave her a 6. This seemed completely reasonable to me. As I reveled in my honest and accurate assessment, I noticed that her face was sort of clenched like she was trying to survive a skunk attack from 3 feet away. She finally exclaimed, “A 6! You think I am a 6? Why did you marry me?”
I proceeded to explain that a 6 is good because a 5 is average. I certainly wouldn’t give anyone a 10 because that is unattainable. I told her that I honestly didn’t know if I had every met a 9, so really the bar is starting at an 8. This didn’t make her any happier. I then explained that I am a 6 and that we are a pretty good match. This made her even madder. I then began to rate her on things like “Motherly qualities” and “Dependability.” Things got worse. I didn’t know what to do. She then asked me to rate other people we knew. So I started rattling off numbers, “7, 4, 8, 6, 8, 3.” This didn’t help at all. It has been 8 years, and I still hear about the time I gave her a 6. I should note that last year I bumped her up to a 7. It seems to me that wives are like cheese, wine, and investments; they grow and typically get better with age.
You might think, “What a fool, why didn’t he just give her a 10?” My friends, I am an honest person and want to be a straight shooter. Besides, wives know you are lying when you give them a 10. You just get in trouble for lying at that point. But I must admit that it is probably better than being honest.
I apologize to those of you who could have benefited from reading this earlier.
My suggestion: For those who haven’t been asked yet, you now know what to do: Avoid the question at all costs!