What’s in a name?
I’ve received several messages from worried fans because we haven’t written for a while. Fear not. The Wife has been having explosive diarrhea and I’ve been cleaning the house. It’s all a big joke until someone eats a bunch of bonbons.
I think that will get me in a lot of trouble, but it has been a while since the pot has been stirred publicly. We have been busy buying a house and I have changed jobs, but I think the madness will be ending soon. Plus, I have a long list of posts based on these experiences. The Wife even said she might write again, but we’ve heard that before.
I was thinking the other day about how creepy the name Bert is. In fact, almost any name including the name Bert is creepy. Think about it. When was the last time you met a cool Bert? Look at the list below and tell me one name that isn’t likely to be found on some sort of perpetrator list. Perhaps it’s because a lot of these names sound like ‘pervert’. I’ve actually ranked these in order of creepiness and likelihood of showing up on some type of watch list. Feel free to add names or defend your own ‘Bert’.
-Herbert (my grandfather’s middle name and #1 creepy Bert variation)
-Hubert
-Albert
-Bertram
-Norbert
-Egbert
-Bert
-Engelbert
-Lambert
-Dilbert
-Bertrand
-Wilbert
-Gilbert
I would like to note two things. First, Robert is the only possible exception to this rule. Second, Bertha should not be forgotten. Although you might not find this name on a perpetrator list, you should definitely avoid this person at all costs if you are considering a romantic relationship.
What does this have to do with wife advice? Not much, but it’s certainly information people need to be aware of. I’m just thankful there is a forum like this to notify the public.

